EraserGirl

a friend of mine is experiencing the wonder that is her 50th birthday and as i discovered on my 30th birthday, you may not WANT an actually happy fucking birthday party, you also can’t let it go unacknowledged trust me that kinda shit will fester.

so i came up with the idea of doing an ‘unbirthday’ party for those of you who didn’t read Lewis Carroll – an Unbirthday Party is according to the mad hatter any party that happens on a day that isn’t anyone’s birthday – or ‘any reason to have a party’ party.

don’t worry she doesn’t read this blog, the dinner party next Saturday, she knows about already, just the details are a secret.   my ideas are completely deconstructionist….. i am going to make a chocolate layer cake….something with raspberry jam in the layers served upside down along with a hammer..still need to find a hammer. I figure she can smash it up and we can mix in some coolwhip and pudding to make a trifle.
the trifle along with a very mixed up salad will be served in 1.97 dishpans from walmart. We use them for washing surgical instruments at the spay/neuter rescue clinic, and it was about time to buy new ones anyway. for an entree i have an idea about a big bucket of chicken nuggets, chicken wings and chicken tenders all mixed up with the sign that it is a chicken dinner with some assembly required. hey..it was funnier in my head, but it’s finger food so that’s all you need to know.

I’m also requesting that people wear a hat of some sort, preferably something that makes them look silly. with me that isn’t hard, but i just thought it was an appropriate nod to the mad hatter – NOT a nod to those fucking red hatted – when i am old i shall wear purple wimmen. How is a crowed of women all wearing the same clothes in any way a celebration of anything aside from their uniformity.

Took 10 minutes to fix a notebook today, and i used the iphone to photograph it and loaded it on Instructables. Shockingly this FIX is not there already. That’s probably the most satisfying thing i will do today.

It’s a clear crisp day…not bad for an early mud season. Tomorrow i have a hike/trail clearing scheduled so i hope the weather holds.
The last week i have been packing and shipping orders like a crazy person so i got nothing done outside even though people tell me the weather has been nice. Checking my inbox for orders, i don’t have anything not shipped that hasn’t been paid for. Because i was out of so many products, that hasn’t happened since before the 1st of the year. The only orders that are coming in strangely are for books i loaded on Amazon…yes they take way too much in fees, but the goal is to get rid of the books – the more the better.

I started cleaning off of the porch moved the sand and shovels into the garage. I don’t know i the urge to put a tiki bar at the end of the porch will go away, but at least it’s a reason to clean off the porch. there’s too much crap out there. 90% of it is going somewhere else…but it HAS to GO to be gone right?

i have been very slack with the online publishing arm of my little empire..basically i wrote a little how to book 4 years ago and i have let it just sit there generating minute royalties every month. and once i learned how easy it was to publish something online i never revisited it again..which i am going to rectify this year. i was SUPPOSED to be editing a book today by a local writer and it is still on my agenda..but my brain wasn’t functional so all i did today was list books on amazon for resale…cutting my belongings in half also refers to my books, so i relisted all the books i deliberately bought to resell…actually i pulled them off biblio.com and listed them on amazon, and then culled a few more and added them in. Good part of listing on amazon is that you can see what the going rate is and undercut everyone else if you want, and the bad part is that if you want it to sell quickly you NEED to list for the lowest price and the lowest price is pretty fucking low.

once upon a time when amazon reselling was profitable i had a going concern reselling books, but when the prices dropped i abandoned ship and ONLY would bother listing books online that were worth the bother. I have gone back to that rule, if it won’t earn me $5, i won’t list it online…not anywhere…and if i is a ‘nice piece’ i put it on ebay and start it at $5 – that’s how much i want for taking the trouble to enter the book. If i make more…or a LOT more which is the goal, that’s good too.

So right now i am going a shelf at a time through my backstock, and i have three postal bins..1 for listed items, 1 for books i decided to keep and 1 for books i need to make disappear. I found a new place to discard stuff, I bring it to the Rescue Clinic on my days and make a pile by the door, and so far anything i have put out has disappeared i am hoping books will go the same way. – doubtful but i will try it.

Anyway, I came up with an obvious trick which i probably should have figured out. I listed my OWN book which is already listed and sold through amazon…at full price, i listed it as an AS NEW copy at the lowest price… the person is paying the same amount to buy it from me if you include shipping, but i am getting the money directly to ship copies i already have in house. So i get the money if they buy the full price copy (a much smaller percentage as amazon keeps too much) but i get MORE if they buy the USED but New copy from me. and the world keeps on tripping …..

I am bribing myself again… off and on i have a hankering for a tiki bar….but if i lie down the idea will go  away.  I just seems like a good time of year to bribe myself for motivation.  IF i manage to get rid of certain cabinets in my living room and some of the crap on my porch…i told myself i will build myself a tiki bar.    now IF i had money to burn…and a reason to build such a thing, i could just drop 400 dollars on the ready made one you can buy and have delivered.  But since I don’t… i am thinking of the one made of PVC on Intructables.com    I may have to design an even more stripped down version as i think may want to keep it on the porch and loan it out.  what’s a tiki bar that doesn’t get used right?

Like I said…it’s just a tiny idea in the back of my mind for a mud colored february in a winter that doesn’t end.  If i THINK about this too hard the idea crumbles under the weight.  do i want to spend more than a couple of hours building this?  do i want to spend more than say 50 bucks?  and how often am i going to use it?  when’s the last time someone came to my house anyway?  hence the reason to make it portable..like a club house.

I am just dying to hang one of those stuffed parrots that takes batteries and pour myself a boat drink.  Like I said…it’s a bribe. if i make it to the summer without driving straight into a cement wall … and keep all the utilities from being shut off…and get rid of half of the crap in my living room and porch..technically i have to get rid of HALF of what’s there and an additional amount equal to the volume of the tiki bar.  THEN i can think about actually building this…..it’s the adult version of a lemonade stand 5 cents!

In reality the urge to build something as elaborate as a tiki bar..which really belongs in a dorm room will wear off as the weather gets better.   and I may just satisfy the urge by buying a tikimug off ebay.

Yes Virginia there is still no snow…and not likely to have any serious snow until next year…unless of course it snows in JUNE, which I have seen happen. It wouldn’t be a big deal, but usually New England’s mud season only lasts a few weeks, this year, it will go on for months. In my never ending struggle NOT to off myself, I actually got a couple of projects done this week. Which should be a red flag to say that I have other projects that I MUST get done and SHOULD be working on, but for some reason I will dredge up and do nearly ANYTHING else to keep my busy so I won’t have to.

Anyway, See that tab that says Publications? yeah that. I have had some Createspace publishing projects that for the last few years I have WANTED to finish and I did the two easiest. They are basically the sharpest reprints of a material that is well out of print, but nearly ALL the print on demand reprints are wicked over priced. These are short, clean and cheap.

I have my eye on a couple of other titles to add in sort of a uniform series.  My theory is to do one a month.  as each page has to be restored like a photograph ..which separates MINE from other people’s…it’s not quick. but mindless enough.  - once it’s out there in the real world, selling or not, i don’t have to revisit it.  not bad for busy work.

NOW what i have on my desk, are all those scanned essays by a local writer that need editing.  The draw back is that they are very badly written.  I am ONLY editing for clarity, i am leaving the guy’s natural voice which excuses a hell of a lot of bad writing.  But once they are massaged into a bookish format, and some photos are added in.  I will publish this as well.  But thinking about it, I am going to have to start a different CreateSpace account with the friend who brought me that title.  I don’t want to have to go parsing out his royalties from MY own royalties.  God forbid.

Sometimes i regret uncluttering something, almost never right away..it may take years. Usually i have completely forgotten about the item or even forgotten i owned it…until something reminds me. Todays case in fact was something I must have sold many years ago, I had read Ryan’s Bridge too Far twice already and figured i didn’t really need it at hand. It’s never been out of print and easy to find if i wanted it back. But there are a great number of books i WANT to have in house..i can’t explain it..it’s a bookie thing. Today I pulled out my 2 disc DVD set of a Bridge Too Far and watched all the documentaries before I started in on the movie. While I was watching my eye went up to the top shelf on the bookcase where this book WOULD have been if i still had it. Of course it wasn’t there so I scanned all the other shelves and it slowly dawned on me that I had been down this road before. The LAST time I watched Bridge too Far it had inspired me to reread it, but the cupboard was bare. Twice is enough, i pulled up Bookfinder.com and searched for a copy that was identical to the one I had owned and read. My copy was the fat little Pop Library mass market with the yellow cover. These Kindle E book cheerleaders have left out one crucial element of reading, the tactile. I love the feel of some books and along with the MEMORY of reading and enjoying the book was the feel of the book in one;s hands. In my opinion the paperbacks of the early 1970s were soft and warm in the hand, i still keep a few around with this unexplained feature. I have an 1974 Dracula that has a great cover color and feels like velvet clutch purse. My Hunter Thompson’s are faded and bent, but any other copies would fail to give off the same feeling of well worn and relaxed, and I could go on. I found a couple of copies on Biblio.com that are described as Pop Lib paperbacks, they were under $2 each and i ordered two…because well i don’t trust booksellers I don’t know. The last time i tried replacing ‘reading’ editions it took a couple of purchases and a longer time because one copy is not as described. I’d rather not be disappointed, I can always find a home for a second copy, and $2 is a small price to pay not to be aggravated.

Some friends of mine and i took in the NH farm and forest trade show today….whereas the others were double bagging in fact like any trade show even BAGS are a freebie. Pens, Pencils, coloring books, posters, flyers, magnets all of it is dangerous material…once you bring it home? than what? I was very very careful what i brought home. for the most part, I got a bag of cat food, and a few identification cards, stickers, some informational brochures and a nifty tree ID pamphlet. In the end my pile  was every so much smaller than other peoples. Granted that’s what the Freebies are FOR at trade shows…but how many times have you walked around a trade show and ended up throwing everything in a pile and NOT reading the items that you were most interested in? yeah every time. Hell i wish i was into pencils..there was about a dozen for of

fer and pens too. but i just got RID of some i don’t need more. i did buy a bar of Goat milk/citronella scented soap which i will find is endlessly more useful that any other doodads. And i got this very nice picture of a Harrier Falcon which was pretty awesome. I also didn’t succumb to the lure of picking up bags which were plentiful, instead i remembered to pull one of my reusit workhorse bags which i highly recommend. Reusit changed the sale on them, it used to be 4 for $24, but it’s 3 for $19 for some reason…the fold up palm sized, so i keep them in my bag for the grocery store. I haven’t taken a plastic grocery bag from a store in 4 years but i have had to replace a couple of these, people keep borrowing them and not returning them go figure..

I had a DAY planned for myself yesterday..i had to write a speech for the Garden Club, plus i took a stab at the one i needed to do for next week’s city council meeting. I also finally put together a bunch of material for a little publication i had to get out. I am still looking at a pile of writing that i need to edit for a friend of a friend. So i wokeup and went straight to the store and brought home a box of Clariting, two red bull, 2 liters of coke, several single serving frosted flakes and a bag of Baked lays..but that was yesterday..they are all gone now. Cept the coke i haven’t opened it. I was up and wired for the day…i got everything written that was supposed to be written, and i made a stab at the editing that is still not finished. This morning all i had the energy to do was pack 50lbs of deodorizer and ship it. now i am at the bottom of the bell curve. i can’t keep my eyes open..well i could but that would mean that i would have to wire myself up again and that’s definitely not good for me. but i got a lot of crap done…tomorrow i am scheduled to go to a Farm & forest trade show in NH, so it will have to be Saturday…fcking season affective dissorder.

I have to speak to the garden club tonight . . . I haven’t written a speech as much as a list of topics that want to cover.  I haven’t gardened MYSELF for a number of years. Ten years ago when i had a thriving business on the net I had plenty of time to play in the garden. But since then i have to much guilt, any time spent working on something that doesn’t have a profitable result makes me feel bad. Tonight will be a some stream of consciousness stuff about the rail trail project and all the land resource stuff i have my fingers into.

It did help that i had to dig through the unfinished projects on my desk . . . one of which is this little guy. I am trying to make a logo out of him . . . his wings are ACTUALLY a map of the town, with the body and head added on.  Since i suck at creating vector graphics, i send out a note to someone on FIVERR.com for help. there are about 90 guys on Fiverr making logs of 5 bucks. but what i really need is a vector graphic that i can incorporate INTO a logo such. I had the idea for him for a long time now. I think he’s a good image for Methuen Trails Committee because of the wing thing. we will see how it goes. I’ve leaned on Fiverr.com in the past for help when i break stuff. Shocking what you can get done for five bucks.

This arrived this morning..worth the extra 3.99 for the overnight shipping. Now i am happily scanning away the PILE of shit that i have been squirreling away waiting for a day when i could do this. Not just that..my previous Epson had a LOT of mileage on it, it had corrosive things spilled on it, scratches on its glass and finally it started making bad noises. I had an HP scanner that was supposedly perfectly useful, but after fussing with it for a week and a half I was ready to throw it in the dumpster which would have been wasteful. If you get used to working quickly with a tool that suits your needs, converting to something that is creates obstacles is like trying to work with one hand tied behind your back. THAT was my rationalization for taking money out of my savings and ordering this baby yesterday for $130, turns out it was on sale for another $10 off which led me to spend the $4 for the overnight. I am LIKING this Amazon Prime shit. And hence i am spending the day getting stuff scanned into that brand new HARD DRIVE that i spent the money on the other day.

Good god i have spoiled myself lately…new PC, because the old one broke, NEW Hard drive, because the old one broke, NEW scanner, because the old one broke. BUT unlike previous years i have been putting money into a savings account specifically for REPLACING stuff when it breaks. yeah i know..50 years IN and i am figuring out this savings thing right? Traditionally my rationalization is NOT to buy anything until A the original one stops doing its job and B it costs me money to NOT buy it. I can live for 2 years with no clothes drier and i lived 6 years with no bathroom sink, but I can’t last more than a day without a computer, and all the other attachments to go with it. Watch me without an internet connection and i get the DTs.

I FEEL like i have been on a spending spree lately, but from what i see OTHER people doing with their money, I guess I am totally not.   I have rules about buying stuff and my rules are getting a workout. So it the scanner, i have already cleared the piles of TO BE SCANNED off my desk, now i have to start editing all that crap.