Up at 5am bright tailed bushy eyed . . . fed 5 kittens – x number of cats, 1 dog, scooped poop boxes, had truck towed, packed 8 orders – sat down to use USPS Click-N-Ship to print out 8 priority labels < -- it was at this point my morning turned to shit.

The batch of click-n-ship labels didn’t print out, so I clicked where it said -“no my labels didn’t print out” and then it says “your labels have been returned to the cart and you card has not been charged” < -- pay attention this is the important part.

Then I trundle over to the Propay site and look at the Propay account, to find that indeed my card HAD been charged, and the funds removed from my account. No, it didn’t say “pending” it said “gone, baby, gone” got it? So I call the USPS folks who say, “we don’t know nothing about nothing” as long as it says ZERO SUM then they don’t have the money, but they will admit to reserving the money, but now that they don’t want it anymore, your ‘bank’ has to released the funds and that will only take a few days ….”a FEW DAYS?”

I went to the Propay site which doesn’t actually HAVE a contact number listed, it has an online CHAT service…where I spent 3o nonsensical minutes trying to get through to this CSR that “the USPS says you can give my money back to me.” needless to say this fell on deaf eyes. So, I go call the USPS supervisor back (at some point I give up talking to minions. ) he says to have them call him. So I type his number on the screen…and the Propay folks ignore it…I start demanding a supervisor from their side…he obfuscates and ignores me for a while. Eventually I let the USPS guy off the hook and set out to google up a LANDLINE for Propay. Which eventually I do –>Propay, Inc (801) 852-4100.

Using this I finally get what I think is a supervisor, I am not sure, but she seemed to know her ass from a hot rock. Who says no problem, she understands the funds are just being held and that they will released automatically in SEVEN DAYS. Seven DAYS? but she may be able to release them today if the USPS faxes them something stating that they won’t be trying to charge against them later. So, I hang up and get the USPS folks back on the line…this time I can’t get back to the same supervisor, I get a kid named Chad, and I have to tell this entire sad tale from the beginning. Chad says they don’t HAVE a fax machine (what the fuck are they doing with that other 3¢ if they don’t even have a fax machine?) but if I could do a three-way call, then they would tell Propay the same thing I have been telling them all morning. I go back to Propay and say they won’t fax anything but they MAY talk to you. So, Propay person calls USPS person and then calls me back and says yup, they have no fax machine. < -- insert plaintiff cry of frustration here.

Meanwhile the automated USPS Click-N-Ship has helpfully emailed me a confirmation of the non-confirmation and I offer to fax THAT to Propay. They tentatively agree to take that as proof of the non-charge. So, here I sit with 8 orders to go out – and no way to ship them since my last 30 bucks was IN the Propay account and is now in lost in translation.

Btw the truck needed a battery.

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