and the sun comes up yet again

It rained all morning and then cleared up..but i spent some time videoing kittens doing yoga. If that doesn’t cheer you up, you are probably dead.

As you can tell I loathe change. I always stay too long in the nest – jobs, relationships, homes……I just need to be kicked out. All the enthusiasm i had for this ‘new adventure’ wore off by the time the Winter malaise set in. I have forgotten how happy i was last yaer. Now I am trying hard to get off the mat just to get my shit together, but having to get it together and take it on the road? ugh. I have scrolled back to the idea of renting a space in Maine that is NOT a house…i don’t know if it will be possible, but its worth the shot. Without the amenities I may not be hemorrhaging as much money as renting a house will cost. I still haven’t heard from the ‘new’ Maine broker, maybe she died… I will give her until Monday and then call another one. Monday I have an appointment with an actual accountant…and boy don’t I look forward to THAT? …It’s like setting up an appointment with the school principal ON PURPOSE. But finally i will have a good idea of what i will ACTUALLY have left over to buy a house with. After the lawyer, the broker, the account and the taxman…the outstanding utility bills, can’t forget those…then i need to hide what’s left over until I can put the bid on the little red house. Damn it. Obsession is my art form and I refuse to be diverted…sorry i had a little moment there.

No the kittens aren’t coming in fact they will probably be going that they are not in any danger of dying…i will send some cages home with the foster people. The foster mom has been helping me clean out the laundry room, i don’t really NEED help in the doing, i need help in the motivation. If my friend wasn’t taking my wonderful shelves I would probably leave them until the night before and then park them in my living room for fear that they would rust in the garage. But his taking them, motivates me to empty them..and them move all the crap on them into my apartment..or porch…or perhaps on the ceiling..and having stuff underfoot motivates me to get rid of more of it. For the most part it’s shipping supplies, display units, suitcases, a featherbed, stuff that normal people keep in a garage or a cellar or a crawlspace..none of which I have. But in the end, I will put what doesn’t fit on the curb and watch it go bye bye. It’s only crap and i don’t care about it.

Two bits of good news, the laptop wasn’t really broke….it was just lame…and after all these years i finally got a stationery/arts vendor to let me open an account. Since i don’t have a brick and mortar store, i have been turned down by all of them. Perhaps these folks think i have one? i don’t know and i don’t care. I will be able to get nearly all my erasers from one vendor as well as a few other oddments. Strange i haven’t been selling many erasers since i changed the website, hopefully once i change it yet again, things will beef up. I have to sit down and design the new site on paper instead of just inside my head. So that the guy i hired can actually build it.. I have started spending the money I don’t have already. But hopefully what i am spending will come back to me in the end. I bought another domain name…it was just sitting there and i had to have it. Another reason i would prefer having a workshop space sooner rather than later, is that i will need to get back to doing instructional videos and need space for products and shipping…well thats if anyone actually BUYS something. I can only hope.

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