ok ok ok i made a huge effing mistake when i stopped blathering consistently a year and half ago. sometimes you just you get lost inside your own ennui and don’t feel like writing uninspiring words yet again . I truly don’t think anyone is listening anymore except for two people who whack me on the side of the head like when a needle is stuck in groove. For those who need a catch up, I was laid off on my birthday the week before Christmas..yes i was…and the placement agency dragged their heels about finding me ANYTHING at all..which is damn odd, I mean i can still sweep floors. Not to worry I was hired on my first phone call to the 1st job I applied for… but it has been a bear. don’t get me wrong, it is way better than sweeping floors and digging ditches, nice environment, pleasant fellas…and basically all i have to do is type..and memorize….NOT MY FORTE! totally first world problems…it’s not something where i can JUST type and get lost up inside my head, for weeks i had to concentrate on every fucking piece of paper that passed through my hands, it’s exhausting!.. i’m sorry but it IS only a second job and though it is paying better than my last one, they aren’t paying to use all my brain, they are only renting the part that is connected to my hands. But is getting better, my short term memory is for shit, but now that i have been there a few months I am getting better at autotyping when appropriate. This job has more hours to it..gone is my lovely three day weekend…in fact starting next week I am doing an ugly month of double shifts since the day guy is having an operation.. i just keep thinking of all the lovely money..
Until this last weekend I had not done much of anything at all…worked and watched a lot of tv and knitted 2 more pairs of red merino socks, third pair in process…i’m stuck in a red phase. I felt the weather change coming and I culled my clothes down to what actually fits and what SHOULD fit if i loose more weight. I wanted to get out of the winter at the same weight i went in at… alas i reacquired a couple of pounds..i blame the guy next to me at work who snacks all day.. I finally threw open the windows, (and washed them), started a good spring clear out, and made huge pile of lawn debris for a dump run. I was working through a head cold and this gave me a chance to sweat it out. I did FINALLY get new glasses, though I am not in love with them I can’t blame everything on the lack of new glasses anymore. The new job pays enough to afford my first pair of bifocals, though the rest of my body has health coverage, my teeth and eyes, do not, GEE THANKS OBAMA…
I will do my best not to crawl up inside my skull from hereon out…it’s spring in Maine… the garden is greening up, the wintawoolies are put away, and the winders are thrown open.
Sometime this autumn I went vegetarian, as well as wheat free and corn free…the end goal is not just to lose a substantial amount of weight. .there is no real end goal, I expect to keep with this sort of diet forever. I have lost about 20 lbs so far…and I plateaued about 6 weeks ago…but it’s winter, generally a time that pounds accumulate, right now as long as I don’t gain anything I’m a happy camper.
I did a big purge at first, pressing all my freezer meat and homemade food onto my moms, and slowly I am learning which GF foodstuffs fit into my life. Between Bob’s Red Mill and now King Arthur’s GF line, one could be happily baking from prepared mixes for a while. but many GF things just aren’t worth the bother, the taste or texture just reminds you it isn’t what it isn’t. Today I pulled off a couple of challenges. A chicken free chicken noodle soup (with gf noodles) which was delicious, and a Shepherd’s Pie using lentils, also delicious. Both meals were relatively time consuming, like everyone else I don’t get much scratch cooking done on days I go to work. I try to make up for by cooking ahead on my days off. Sadly I don’t think there will be any soup leftover after tomorrow.
I have written before about how i divested myself of many many things. When I moved into this hovel, i thought i had made it to a point where i owned the least I have ever owned, and it was still quite a bit. Unfortunately being a bit of a non-minimalist, I tend to acquire and not deaccession until I run out of storage or I have what i consider clutter. I still see things I want to own, i don’t know where that need comes from, i only know it when it happens. I was standing in the thrift store aisle holding a little .99 saucer and it was all i could do not to buy it. i didn’t need it, it was just pretty. but If i brought it home, it would indeed make me smile when I saw it, but where would it get stored, what would i use it for? teabags? cookies? spoons? what am i putting those things on now? Did one day I put a spoon on the counter and say ‘ i need a saucer to go under that spoon.’ So there was no saucer shaped hole in my life that needed filling, in the end it stayed in the store. The art supply store has put in some tableware for some inexplicable reason…pretty stuff but not even locally made.. it was less difficult to not buy an olive wood tidbit bowl since it was more than I was willing to rationalize..and so it goes, it is a constant struggle.
I was on the fence about getting a new dog for a long time. Once winter set in and I was in the house a lot more, it became much more apparent something was missing. The other fuzzy roommates are fine for having life in the house, but seriously they don’t care about your day and you can’t take them to the beach or to the park. They have their limitations.
er but not for long, she was only up for about a day and the rescue already had enough applications to remove her listing. I had figured I would apply just to get my feet wet. Luckily I was first in line… that never happens. Then I figured I would just go look, can’t hurt to look right? Of course once I saw her, i wasn’t leaving without her.
A couple of months ago, I finally went vegetarian…. I had been flirting with it for a few years. meat wasn’t a big mainstay for my diet, a couple of times a week, i’d add meat to a stew or casserole and if i was feeling rich i’d buy a whole chicken and stretch it to unreasonable lengths.
Meeting my biofamily has been delightful, and they understand completely when I say this… I don’t wish to continue sharing the family figure. Until now I just thought i was being a lazy sot, eating my feelings…but I have seen my future and don’t want any part of it. All those things I wanted to do someday are not going to wait forever. So i need to get off my ass and become half the person I have been lately.
Last year I started adding audiobooks to what I listen to at work along with the podcasts…(the day job is logistics/order tracking, i need to keep part of my mind busy so i can concentrate…go figure) I was starting to loose track of which books i hadn’t finished. There are a few that i got pretty far into but i got bored and started something more interesting. So I started making a list using the library website, my audible account, goodreads.com, and what i posted on facebook. This is what I can remember that I have read since January. I have gotten hooked on Cyperpunk and techy sci fi books, but i discovered a number that I really loved enough to add to my bookcase in print form. I just ordered an ARC of Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore for my collection and I’d like a nice vintage paperback copy of Forever War too.
LifeOnYourOwn
