Dear Bullpen Reader:
Are you wandering alone out there in the internet wilderness and are wondering where oh where have the other little puppies gone…then you are in luck!! The Bibliophile Mailing List, est 199_, is a moderated internet play area for people who collect and/or sell old books to having deep meaningful conversations, advertise for books, sell books, feign wit, accumulate friends, alienate enemies and generally keep tabs on the pulse of the antiquarian book-verse, both real and netbased. In case you are wondering what the Bibliophile Mailing list can do for you, here’s a typical subscriber email that list owner Lynn DeWeese-Parkinson has passed along to us.
Yes, I paid Lynn my Biblio fees, and the change was immediate! My acne cleared up, my voice deepened, and boy does my girlfriend notice the difference during our weekly “private time”! No more fumbling for me! I even felt energetic enough to knock off parts I- XXXV of the Stand saga by Stephen King and rip the binding off a Daniele Steele hardcover with one hand!
You to can have these health, literacy and relationship enhancements with just one easy payment to a man living somewhere outside the country. You, yes *you*, can amaze your friends, and be the life of the party.
No gimmicks, no tricky lotions or balky appliances. Just a simple international financial exchange*, and you get one full year of vim, vigor, intellectual expansion and even the occasional verbal fisticuffs, which you can participate in at no extra cost!**
Please, send money today , as server space and patience is limited.
Allow 6-8 hours for transaction to clear. You won’t be very sorry!
*some actual procedures have been modified for the purposes of making payment more exiting than, say, stubbing one’s toe.
**Participation through internet only. Showing up on another’s doorstep unannounced after email exchanges may lead to restraining orders and/or blasts of gunfire. Management will not take responsibility for any injuries sustained in said acts.
So with that in mind, sign yourself up for a free 2 week trial. Meet the best and the brightest bookish people on the internet . . . and I will be there too.