breathe easy

2015-03-31 14.51.49 This is probably the first day in two months I haven’t felt like killing myself…well yesterday probably was.   More than two weeks ago, the happily little idiot who comes in to do the filing twice a week, went around the office offering people her sickness..and low and behold two days later I presented with a bouncing baby bronchial infection.  To be fair she got it too…but i would have been happier just to throat punch her.    I haven’t been this sick in about 8 years.  No work means no money, so now that I am marginally better, still coughing like coal miner, I can at least swill down enough dayquill to go to work everyday.

Don’t take my word for it, but from what I can feel the weather has changed significantly the last couple of days… there’s still snow..but what’s not snow is mud, which is a good sign.  You can even randomly wake up and see snow fall outside…yes..still…but it’s too warm now, it melts immediately. But it’s the principle of the thing, it needs to STOP snowing.  Since it started snowing….when November? my entire universe dwindled down to just these three rooms and the inside of my truck.  One of the reasons i don’t ENJOY fucking around outside in winter is BECAUSE it is to freaking easy for me to bronchitis and pneumonia and god knows what all.

But the weather HAS changed, i have been able to go outside for small amounts of time with just a t-shirt…i KNOW – it’s shocking. I had almost forgotten WHY i moved here.  And then i remembered all the freaking chores I had put off until spring, now that’s come all flooding back to me, i’m all kinds of depressed, i just don’t have the time to wallow anymore.  And that’s what this entire winter has been – one big wallow-.  if i wasn’t shoveling i was curled up trying to keep warm and getting six kinds of depressed.  NONE of the things I was supposed to do over the winter came to pass..i didn’t save any money, i didn’t MAKE any more money, I just nearly sort of broke even.

I have managed to realize my life’s dream if you will…I can be POOR anywhere, I didn’t to be poor and miserable back in Mass, I can be poor and miserable here in Maine. But at the very minimum I can now go outside, i don’t have to be walled up inside my tiny house.

I put in two screens on the porch so far, the temperature is still too cold to leave them open for long, but I did manage to turn off the heat yesterday.   It will be nice to put the heat money towards something else, like the car insurance.

the only thing I managed to accomplish while being sick was to change banks..don’t ask…to the one around the corner AND open a savings account..i KNOW RIGHT? how ambitious of me.  But seriously, I am seriously fuqued, because i don’t have the nice nest egg to finish the upstairs anytime soon.  I have to DEAL with that before summer, some how, i really don’t want to keep sleeping on this awful bunk in my living room.  But I do have to move all these boxes of books and dvds off the porch up to the second flood so i can start finishing the porch.  My goal was to use the porch to offset the summer heat, so it’s got to be at least presentable – who knows i could have company…it could happen.

So I have a list of shit to do that doesn’t involve spending any money, Most of it is back breaking, like removing the shrubs in the yard and scraping and painting those ‘new’ used window which are apparently more rotten than i figured.  The next $200 bucks i manage to save will go to a used dewalt nail gun… IF i have the nail gun, my rationalization is that i can make my own start finishing the second floor…it will be ugly as sin, but at least with the insulation covered up, I can move the bed up there.  So that’s the plan. Aside from the normal, work work work, pay bills, be broke.

I did manage to pull the bike out of the shed and over the snow and mud into the house.   I may take it down to the Gear Hub to get it’s spring cleaning, they have actual bike stands there.  My new plan will be to start biking to work as soon as the mornings are warmer.  That’s another plan, but first I am going back to hit the dayquil….and wash it down with some ice cream.



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