Archive | humor

liqour, fireworks, and mosqitoes (was trucking fuck)

How bad is it that i HAVE images like this one in my harddrive? If i had thought about it, i could have taken this again yesterday etc… All the hours and miles I have burned on my truck for the US Census is coming back to bite me in the ass. If i sit […]

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what i should have known before i learned

So i woke up in at 4 am the other day  and started typing…i had this idea for another ‘book’ — i don’t know why i insist on putting book in quotes or calling them anything else.  But i’m a tech writer i LIKE writing instructions, and my brain thinks BOOKS should be something more […]

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old dark house

It’s that time of year…time to get shut up in an ‘old dark house’ during a torrential storm, along with a house full of loonies. Old Dark House..one of the more obscure James Whale productions is well worth watching..over and over. I wish i had more like minded friends…i’d throw a theme party a la […]

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TEDtalk : Chip Kidd book designer

every morning while i am waiting for the migraine meds to kick in i put a TED talk or three on the box. THIS one is particularly good. i wonder how long it will take me to watch them all?

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My old faithful coleman cooler

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Pointless Pursuit: My Year of Picaresque Personal Ads

A petty act of revenge in the form of a droll online personal ad generated appreciative fan mail, turning the author’s head, and leading to this, an embarkation on a year-long project of writing and posting story-style “personals” on Cragislist. Readers have described these vignettes (with admiration) as byzantine, ridiculously obscure, and slapstick. A true parody of the genre, filled with historical trivia and tinted by a nostalgia for the past, this folie a deux of fiction and fact mixed up to surrealist proportions will leave you breathless and bewildered, but happy to have been along for the ride. A few errant lines from the book: I was born in the same Roman casino and at the same moment that King Farouk died. My mother had gone into labor presumably from the shock incurred by having been unjustly accused of counting cards… I have my share of unfulfilled dreams…such as running my own cock-fighting emporium in Mexico and reconstituting the Flying Wallendas, but as world-class touring canasta players… My grandfather also once told me that he had eleven days of whoopee with a young English novelist. They schtupped the stuffing out of each other, under the “L” in a vermin-ridden room of a salesmen’s hotel… I would flee Vaduz, and that world of dusk-ribboned ceilings of fixed arcadia. That world that had greeted me with ormolu sunsets was one that had also sent me off with those unknowable, sickly strains plumbed from the depths… When Mother entered the room, she discovered Roman wearing only a stippled foulard scarf, violently thrashing Father’s behind with a wangee cane… If I had the prescience to detect the loosening shards that would litter my path, I would have intensified my exertions and joined Michael Rockefeller’s expedition to Irian Jaya…

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unbirthday

a friend of mine is experiencing the wonder that is her 50th birthday and as i discovered on my 30th birthday, you may not WANT an actually happy fucking birthday party, you also can’t let it go unacknowledged trust me that kinda shit will fester. so i came up with the idea of doing an […]

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it is summer somewhere

I am bribing myself again… off and on i have a hankering for a tiki bar….but if i lie down the idea will go  away.  I just seems like a good time of year to bribe myself for motivation.  IF i manage to get rid of certain cabinets in my living room and some of […]

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live the stereotype

I hate January…every year i am forced to huddle in my apartment bundled to the eyeballs trying NOT to get sick. The number of Januaries i have gotten bronchitis or worse outnumber the number of Januaries where i have managed to stay well. I have never understood it and it actually took a few years […]

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what was i thinking?

Well i know what i was thinking, but i don’t think i should have been thinking what i was thinking. One of the vet techs i work with is going to vet school in the Caribbean and several of the rescue clinic folk want to stay in touch with her. I was actually picking up […]

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