celestial toilet seat


“Dick: The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.
Cade: Nay, that I mean to do. “

William Shakespeare, Henry the Sixth, Part II, IV, ii (1623)

He may have had something there…… Lawyer #7 was a washout….same shit different lawyer….they are all very very interested until they hear that I am house poor, then they all kinda of shuffle me into an out bin. This one had me bring everything i had on the house… a one inch stack of papers from the Registry of Deeds….every document pertaining to the house from 1977…then tells me that he wants to hire someone to research the same paperwork for a couple of hundred dollars and that it will take a couple of weeks and THEN he will decide to take me as a client or not. And that was after i talked him out of the $1500 retainer. I told him i would pay for the research fine, but i am not willing to wait. Considering he wasn’t going to find anything i missed, i guess that was his way of calling me a liar…and at the very least getting me out of his office.

WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE ASSHOLES? Yes I am poor, you can kick me like a dog most days, as lawyers and other fucktards are known to do…but regardless of the deal that is made for the house, i will get between $250 and $300 THOUSAND DOLLARS. Don’t you screwheads want a piece of that? You can send me a bill for 10,000 dollars for doing NOTHING but MAKING my brother do what he is legally obligated to do anyway…no more no less. It amounts to ADULT SUPERVISION! Easy fucking money meatheaads!

When my father died in 1966 he was in Virginia… He was down there looking for a place to move us FROM Massachusetts, like most men in my family he was a drunkard. He died in a car wreck on the beltway, but unusually he was actually parked and asleep in his car from what i have been told. That’s why he died and no one else did. Dying without a will in that state, instead of the wife just inheriting everything, they liquidated everything he owned, the Winnebago, the Jaguar and so forth…My Father was a quintessential MAD MAN, even including the drinking. My mother being in shock and not the brightest of bulbs took all sorts of bad advice and spent the rest of HER life believing in her soul that she got ripped off by my father’s family, which she probably did.

I am willing to spend 10-12 THOUSAND DOLLARS not to spend the rest of my life Believing in my soul that I was screwed.


Of course I can sit back and let my brother whom i know loathes me, and for whom I can show over the last 10 years has harrassed me continually trying to get me to MOVE out of my home, I can LET him sell the house for whatever he wants whenever he wants. And I will GET a good portion of it. That is undeniable. But I will forever feel that he go over on me ONCE AGAIN. And that’s a feeling I just can’t live with…not for one minute longer than i have to.

I need a Lawyer with some balls.    Perhaps I need a woman.

Then I am going to have to hit the phone book. Or perhaps i need to put an add on craigslist. Guaranteeing a 10K payday to anyone with a License to practice in Massachusetts and Brass genitalia.  However for the moment I am waiting for a call back from Lawyer #8….is it 8? i think its 8. He’s a friend of a friend, a new lawyer with absolutely no Commercial or Real estate experience. Also when I met him in passing seemed a little too affable, I’m looking for an asshole to take on an asshole and this guys a little too nice. But he is will to hear my tale of woe in detail. So i will give him a shot.

My kneejerk response after the meeting was to go food shopping and be self indulgent I bought boxes of Life cereal on sale, and some actual MEAT to put in the freezer. The kind of stuff i DIDN’t buy at Walmart because i was saving back money to pay for todays consult – which luckily unlike the last one….was priced relative to its value.  ZERO

The Van Gogh is meaningless, I just newly discovered it and wanted to use it.

I have decided that i am going to decorate my new house in those colors.   Celestial bodies on a dark blue background…. I already picked out the Toilet Seat, like it?

ed. Later #8 was a washout as well, he was out of his depth and kinda new it.  He did manage to give me a reference.  and offer to play mediator with my brother if i run out of options.   So tomorrow i am going to try Lawyer9 & 10…. and check in with the Brokers my brother approached and find out what the fuck is going on at their end.


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