Cuckoo Bananas

“Cuckoo Bananas” is a catch phrase of one of the cheerful handicapped (is that still the right euphemsm?) teenagers at the high school.  i subbed for a program assistant a couple of times this week, and a number of times last year.  Apparently they have great difficulty finding substitutes to cover in the rooms for the differently abled students. I can’t imagine why… you spend the day doing the same puzzles over and over and labeling everyone as cuckoo bananas, easy money.

To be honest I actually dodged a couple of substitute call ins early in the week when i was having a little stress.   I had run out of ideas to unload cats that i do not want to bring with me.  I have three in particular who had been scheduled to be ensconsed into a sanctuary three years ago, but so far they have made no accomodations for them and I am pushing the issue.   These three are happy enough to eat sleep and poop inside my abode with everyone else…just being here pushes the limits on what i am willing to clean up and spend for cats that really don’t like me looking at them in the eye.   They WOULD have been TNRs  (Trap Neuter Releases) and if i had to do it over thy would have been, but where they were rescued, the rest of their family had already been run down by speeding cars and they wouldn’t have lasted too long.

After school yesterday I took the remainder of the money in the bank and went on a road trip to Wolf Adventure in Goffstown, NH.  And offered  my friend D__ the same deal I offered the cat rescue folks..  If you take my feral cats into your colony,  they come with a trust fund.   D__ of course said she would take them no payment required.  The situation there is different from a contained sanctuary,  it is more of a barn placement without the horses.  Their small colony of  rescued ferals are free range with  access to the building basement for food, warmth and furniture.    I hadn’t heard from D___ in a few months,  she had been mourning the death of a beloved rescue. But her spirits have  brightened as they just rescued two elderly wolf hybrids and are started building more pens.  and like all other sanctuaries they can always use more money.  But I have an alternate idea to repay her generosity.  Their previous building was destroyed in a flood in ’05 and for a couple of years they were living in an RV  but the town was still expecting taxes based on the house that didn’t exist anymore…. Kafkaesque huh?    they settled on an amount that they are repaying the town…but the interest rate is a usurious 18%.     When I finally get the money and the accountant tethered to it, I will arrange to refinance their outstanding debt using   I certainly don’t need more than a couple of percent for loan management costs, but it will certainly save them boocoups $$ on the pinterest.  I haven’t told her my plan yet, she still thinks I am just going to give her an annuity for my furballs.

Meanwhile I still have a couple more cats than i ideally want to bring, but we are getting down to a socially acceptable level.   In Greenfield among the absolute must haves are a screen porch and an out building.  Ostensibly they are both for my personal use, but a screen porch is practically mandatory for anyone with more than a couple of passive housecats.  Unlike children you can always lock up your pets when they are starting to make you cuckoo bananas.  Lined with pet screening, and appointed with a few shelves and you can create a kitty theme park on an extremely limited budget; add a flappy pet door and you will have trouble getting them back in the house.

There are as many ‘catios’  custom made Cat Patios as there are pet owners.  see Google Images for proof.   SOme are just the size of a large cage outside a window or porch, some are long wire tubes stretching into the yard and around trees, some are large walk in cages without human accomodation.   Balancing what you can get away with, with what you can afford to spend…and then expanding as money allows….think erector set.



Obviously i have no fucking clue what I will end up having to build,  i have no idea if my best purchase will have a garage, and/or a porch.  I did spend some time looking at those  KIT outbuildings, the largest are between 6 and 9 thousand depending on fanciness.  However using that benchmark,  the guy at PVsquared recommended a Greenfield contractor whose specialty is outbuildings – barns and sheds, and he assures me they can scratch build a better one for less than a kit. One of their  models appealed to the voices in my brain who screamed in unison “MULTITASKER” “Two for one special” an outbuilding AND a screenporch in one.

Build this bugger close enough to the house and I can walk straight out my backdoor straight into my summer porch to work on my laptop or my bicycle.  Is it just me?  or do i spy with my little eye…. a tiki bar in the back of that porch?  Banana Daiquiri anyone?

1 1/2 oz light rum
1 tbsp triple sec
1 banana
1 1/2 oz lime juice
1 tsp sugar
1 cherry

Combine all ingredients (except for the cherry) with 1 cup crushed ice in an electric blender. Blend at a low speed for five seconds, then blend at a high speed until firm. Pour contents into a champagne flute, top with the cherry, and serve.

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