curb couches

2014-03-11 12.22.45I got in an argument with someone on Reddit…the Minimalist camps are awash with people who think hardcopy books are an anathema to the concept of minimalism…[see? i still know high dollar words]….in MY opinion the paper book is the quintessential (there’s another one) MINIMALIST media – there is nothing between YOU and the words on the page…no batteries, no device, no downloading, no cloud, no updates, no Amazon take backs because they shouldn’t have sold the book in the 1st place…no chance of losing your entire library to an EM pulse. Just because some people like to have a lot of the bloody things around doesn’t take away from their very simple design. This is really not rocket science.

But I should have seen it coming, there was another ‘MINIMALIST’ fan who was crowd sourcing their decision to buy a plant for their apartment…ONE FUCKING PLANT and they ask a hundred people’s opinion? [damn…i was going to try NOT swearing in these things anymore..the Bangor Daily News seems to have a thriving stable of Maine Bloggers…and trolling for more of them…vulgarity free ones though…oh fudge.] My advice to that lost soul was that minimalism NEED not mean deprivation….at least it doesn’t in my universe…if you want a plant, have a damn plant..have an entire greenhouse full, if that’s your idea of a simpler life. It seems to me choosing a knife over a food processor, and a paper notebook over a powered netbook…(see what i did there? that was clever) and a book over an ipad are all choices to get you to the same stress free end result but with less clutter in between. Don’t get me wrong i like my Kindle and I do use it for lots of disposable things, but simply filling it up with free ebooks, wouldn’t replace shelves filled with real books.

I have always liked having a NICE and proper tool for the job…like a couple of good Henkels or Wustoff knives…(i think knives are a good example)…but as it happens i think i have NINE, that is still a problem.  As it went with the Cameras…i culled down the entire collection to just a couple of the really good ones. But I am not looking to get rid of them entirely or settle for cheap and basic. [There is a point to this ramble…i think] Same with the clothes, same with the furniture, same with the books. I am not going to just pick up a couch on the curb because its free and i need a couch…I want to have a really nice one even if the rest of the room is bare – except for the shelves with the books of course.

I just realize that was all shit i have said before – I am really just trying to convince myself that everything will be allright and i won’t be living in worse poverty… but i’m having another one of those days where I am trying NOT to rend my clothes and rock on my heels…. Finally the broker has reached out to Himself and Mrs Himself reminding them it is time to lower the price to coax an offer on the house. It is a hideous feeling knowing that all they have to do is pretend they didn’t get the email and my life stays locked in this vortex swirling around a drain…every day the orbit gets tighter and tighter.. i go few places, i do fewer things, i certainly have fewer dollars…i just wish i ate fewer foods…my stress eating and the Roku box addiction are the highlights of my day.

They were obviously surprised that the market is STILL pretty bad and that the house is not going to get them as much as they thought…. not as surprised as I am to be sure. But they are NOT in the hole I am in, they owe nothing on their own house with the pool and the dog, and they both have jobs. they can SUCK IT UP. Their greed is just mucking up my life and my plans, and personally that’s why i think they should die in a firey car wreck…well him definitely..not her fault she married an asshole, i did that too, i think it’s a modern right of passage. I always say, i wouldn’t mind a man in my life, but i certainly don’t want one in the house.

Speaking of the house..the more the price for this place spirals down the more stressed I get about moving on – i dread the idea that a curb couch may be my only option – but that’s entirely possible. Once I buy a house, and a vehicle, and pay some bills – of which there will be many, it’s not like houses come shovel ready….. there may not be a whole pile of table money leftover. If i live so close to the bone now, what makes me think moving elsewhere will be any better?…it could even be worse, a lot worse.,  considering i will have an enormous woodframe baby sucking at my boobs.

Not only do i not know what’s going to happen to my life, i don’t know how much money i will have to get on with it. Needless to say the lawyer won’t even discuss going after Himself for 10 years of backpay for my portion of the buildings rents – actually he just doesn’t answer me at all. If Himself and Mrs Himself are going to let me stew here, then i am going to have to go after them for a portion of the rents from this point forward. I don’t care if its $100 a month, its the principle…no actually, it’s really just the money. I can say this…i’ve gotten good at firing lawyers, i don’t have a problem doing it again, i’m just getting too tired to care.  All i want to do is escape and if it costs me money to do so, then fine.  I’d rather live in my own cardboard box, than someone elses dumpster.

It hadn’t occured to me to put a smiley face ON My eggs…really…was that something you expected me to do…ever?

Just an note…..i have 9 very expensive knives, because i got em when i got married 20 years ago..not because i have money to spend on knives..

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