five by five

I’m practically a poster child for seasonal affective disorder. the shortened days drive me to sleep longer and more often and get less and less accomplished. I tend to reach for mother’s little helper at any opportunity…caffeine in all its glory… in anything and everything. If it gives me an arrhythmia so be it. I’d rather die doing something than sit here like a lump feeling guilty about all the crap i am not getting done. I struggle with procrastination normally…in winter i lose dramatically…hell i throw in the towel and just crawl under the covers and cower in surrender. I put two things on my calendar today that made me leave the house…one was corner somebody at the local hospital and preach the wonders of the rail trail in hopes of igniting a spark. after that i accidentally nodded off in my reading chair…as soon as the antihistamines kick in I am out like a light. I think perhaps i am not actual sleeping when i am unconscious. When i woke up with a cat nestled comfortably on my chest and South Park reruns on the tv. I immediately felt guilty that i hadn’t accomplished more during the day. I texted a friend of mine and charged her with the task of kicking my ass for the rests of the night to get some more things accomplished before i go back to bed. Off hand i stated that if i am not trying to do 5 things at the same time I feel i am slacking off. Obviously I am still not deprogrammed from my mother’s brainwashing. SO i threw three more things on my agenda and did another can of Red Bull and started in. I finally sorted through 4 boxes of books I had already culled from my collection, and sorted them into sell and toss piles. The toss piles are then broken down into different piles i can donate or give away. And as a reward I ran out to Lowe’s and grabbed the one Rubbermaid underbed storage container with wheels. I had put all my books on cd and few music cds into boxes because i had to cannibalize those shelves to store books. But i had been mooning over the underbed box for a few days now. It was only $17 at Lowe’s and somewhere around $35 online, go figure. It just about fits what i have left on CDs which leaves me with a rule that if i acquire anything else on CD it HAS to fit in the box, meaning something else has to leave. I am happy with that rule, though i was a little pissed to find that the bed is about a half inch too low for it to slide under nicely. Now i need to find new bed wheels to bring it up that half an inch. So, about midnight i finished the FIVE things that i had set out for myself. I don’t know why I picked the number 5, it could have been 4 or 6, but i had said 5. So lets see if that works. I will pick FIVE things small or large, whatever…five things to do during the day. Lets see if i can beat back the SADness this season.

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