I seem to have figured out that there are stages of moving just like stages of grief …apologies to kubler ross…. When i first grasped the idea of pushing on, i was angry, i had to get angry with the city, with my brother, with myself mostly…but the anger helps keep one motivated…. then i was scared…..was i making the right decision, what if i fucked it all up and so on….but once i started shaking all the nits out of my life, i started getting maudilin listing all the things I would actually miss, Then I felt guilty about abandoning some of my friends and unfinished projects, then i moved into bargaining.perhaps 87 miles isn’t all that far, i have a friend who drives to new york city for work every week, why would i whimper about a few hours of podcasts and audiobooks? IF i had a car from this century that can take the mileage, of course.
ok, so i’m back where are started from after flirting with multi units, chickens and greenhouses, and all sorts of possible ways to make ends meet and i am comfortable with the thoughts, even though between you me and the wall, i’m not likely to begin a brand new career when i haven’t given up on the old one..ones….I am having a few thoughts creeping back into my head that i haven’t seen for a while. Back before I got married and divorced and so forth, i had an impression my own house, someplace with a stove that works, a place with closets, a kitchen table…a kitchen that was big enough for a table…a bathroom that was big enough for a hamper, a bedroom with a door… i had a few of those things when i was married, but not for long. I’m not looking for much these days… beyond the bedroom door and the bathroom hamper, i really only care if that i have enough room to have my work room, my office and my storage all in the same vicinity. Room for bookcases and a file cabinet, large desk and such in such a way, that i can actually walk through rooms without bumping into things. Catering to the job i HAVE kinda trumps anything else.
I wasn’t going to start working on a series of Pioneer valley books until the house was at least on the market, but fuck that… i don’t really have much else to do, so i did. I start puling together a bibliography, and some texts and got a good idea of the scope available. The more I looked at Greenfield, the more reasons I had to do it. And unlike the Merrimack Valley I think i have a good chance of finding people who WANT to see their town histories for sale to a new audience. I don’t want to keep slagging on about Methuen, but seriously i never met a place that wanted to bury their history in a pit, as much as here.
While poking around at the Library of Congress site I found a few series of Franklin county photographs. A few of harvest time…and a number of very nice techincal shots of area bridges. Which lead me to remember that I used to be a pretty damng good photographer once upon a time. I think SicPress (especially now that the website is done over) will have to expand into the area of photographs, both old and new. doncha think?
I do love the onions. i’m gonna blow that up and frame it for the kitchen.