host of friends

movingI went over and told my friend Steve last night.  my phone was still disconnected for non payment…its fixed now… so i dldnt call first, and there i am at 9pm on his stoop ringing the bell, shifting my weight to keep the motion sensor light from going out… .9pm no worries,  he was just watching television like the rest of us at that hour.   But it was better that i just showed up anyway… i really only have a couple of old friends left, they are sort of all dying off or drifting away. And the ones I do have should be told face to face, their lives aren’t going to be diminished by my moving, i just think i need to firm up what’s left of the relationship before I add distance to it.   Steve and my other friend Anne have been friends since the early 80s when we all slaved away in retail bookselling.  Over the years we have all worked together repeatedly….when i DID have a going book business they both worked for me, before that when I was underemployed we worked for Anne. We aren’t intimate friends, just firm and long lasting, overall these were the mosts symbiotic and long lasting relationships I have ever had. These are the people I want to tell in person, they asked the right questions that make me make sure that this is the right decision.  Overall I have told everyone I care to tell so far, except for one close friend who is not going to handle it well.  As you can guess none of them read this blog.  When I tell Deb, she’s gonna be freaked, so I am going to wait until there is something solid, like an offer on the house or something.

Maybe I am imagining my importance in their lives, maybe I could have just sent them all post cards….i don’t know, but it makes me feel better to handle it face to face.  Strangely its the people who haven’t known me very well or for very long who say “I will believe it when I see it.”  the people I  have known for 30 plus years all agree this is the right move and are very happy for me.  go figure.

How sad is this that i nearly forgot… on my way TO Steve’s house last night I nearly got creamed by a driver coming down a one way street, on the way back I also nearly got taken out by a driver taking a left turn from the right lane across my path.  It knows I am leaving…..I need to get out of this city before it kills me.



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