So the database has finally been restored…it still takes a while to load and locks up on me, so i am back where i was last thursday.
But fuck it. it gets fixed or doesn’t. While it was down the sink hole, i got think about life without it. Not that i am married to it, hell sometimes i go weeks without feeding it.
but it both like Spaudling Gray’s MONSTER IN A BOX and Wonderboys‘ never ending manuscript that blows away in the wind…if you haven’t seen either, why are you reading this? Six years of my life-3880 blog posts gone with a few keystrokes, gone poof…who cares? why would it matter? SicPress.com could be reconstituted if need be, it’s just products for sale, Erasergirl neé Bibliophilebullpen is the inside of my head turned out. a few years ago when i ran out of bookish material to write about, i said eff-it, i will just write about what i am interested in. Everyone else is covering the bookish stuff, so I will just write for me. It especially helps when i have other NON CREATIVE stuff to get accomplished and I want to just scream. But regardless, it’s back. I can deal. No harm done.
But a LOT of things happened over the last few days…most of them just inside my head. But it’s a big fucking deal. Last week my brother was mean to one of the tenants…in the same insane landlord attitude shit he usually reserves for me. But he did it to an innocent person who was in tears…that’s just not right, he really shouldn’t be a landlord. And the second mortgage needs renewing. Put a pin in that.
Last couple of weeks i have had to pull the pin on being a Bitch about the City, the Mayor and the City Counsel and hence the DPW’s complete lack of interest in the rail trail. After I spanked them all at the last city counsel meeting, the DPW showed up on the trail to start working on the drainage and the surface all good…but WHY do i have to fight to get these people interested in a project they should have been behind for the last 4 years? Combine that with the fact that the collective IQ of the elected government is less than a moderately retarded spider monkey.
I suck at algebra but I CAN do basic math…and i came to the conclusion that I DON’T HAVE TO DIE HERE. I can be poor anywhere. I’m 52 fucking years old, if i don’t move now, i will die here. And I don’t want to. After coming to that conclusion I started poking around on the internet for a new place to live. It didn’t take too long, I am not all THAT adventurous…change is good, but i still expect to drag along some four footed roommates, not to mention, books, dvds, boats and bikes etc.. so I am not going to backpack to India. I figure I will start small, a couple of booksellers recommended PIONEER VALLEY in Massachusetts. 87 miles/1.5 hours away. Not too far, very blue state, lots of bookstores, yet still massachusetts; I had always wanted to move to maine, but their Governor is being a dickhead. Who knows, perhaps i will move again?
I spent the weekend just whispering the idea of moving, i researched the area and kinda tentatively picked a town and spent a LOT of time on Zillow and Google street view getting to know the place. My PLAN is to take my percentage of the sale of the property…which is commercial and the market is good right now…. and buy a duplex outright. No one is going to give me a loan anyway. and with a duplex I can put that rent towards the taxes and upkeep, so i can keep my frugal penniless lifestyle if i absolutely have to. Shockingly…not having a decent job frees me up to move anywhere i want, at least this place has all the things I like. I can free myself to be happy someplace else.
Monday, I did the rescue clinic and arranged for sanctuary placement for the four unadoptable cats in my care. And Tuesday I met with a local lawyer whom i casually know because he and i share the same loathing for the city government. He knows he doesn’t get paid until the house sells and he’s down with that. He’s actually employed JUST to communicate to my brother who still thinks I am not very bright. Yeah, just keep singing that song butt head.
So that’s the plan. after all the divesting, I finally have the go ahead to toss out everything else if i want.
Regarding the big picture, i have decided to try an experiment…you know how i can’t keep doing any one thing for too long before i get bored and start something else…yeah i know there’s a clinical name for that…
I am going to try to document the entire process. I stuck a virtual pin in the map and picked a city I have never been to, as far as I know, though I may have passed through it. I am going to sell up and move there, JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS! Who knows, i could hate it, I could like it, i could get killed on the highway just going there. Lets see what happens. It can’t be worse than what i have now, right?