. . . of course I picked the weeds before I did. I should be writing. I always should be writing. I did a good turn yesterday, I should be doing that much everyday. What I discovered years ago was that if I put a project down for more than a week, it is just as if I put a bullet in it. My life is a trail of unfinished quilts and unpainted steps behind me, like a toddler with a bowl of cheerios. It does seem as if I have been writing it forever. Many pieces are already set in my head and need to squeeze them out through my fingers.
One of the things that messes with my head is scope…how large a project should this be? If it’s too big and complicated, I fear that I will get bored with it and put it aside, then it will have been a waste of time. I probably put more energy into that fussing than the actual contents. It has gotten larger in scope, but I am less bothered by it. Why do it, if I am not going to do it well?
I’ve been dragging that odd shaped glass jar around for at least 20 years, thinking ‘that would make a nice vase’. I swear I have actually thrown it in the recycling and picked it out again at least twice. It has survived when all the other actual vases have gone away.
I finally painted the little hutch I bought at Easter. I knew if I just let it filled up with crap on the porch it would have never made it into the kitchen. I may add larger work surface to to protect the paint. It’s not finely finished, just painted within an inch of it’s life. I think it was knotty pine, and someone threw one coat of latex over it with no primer, so it looked like shit. So now it has 3 undercoats and a thick layer of White Rustoleum. It looks like it has been painted repeatedly for a century. It actually looks like the kind of thing I would consider stripping the paint FROM. And as much as I want to deny it… I now actually prefer the thickly painted look and surface. It is easier to wash for certain, and the white sets off the actual objects on it.
Now that it is in the kitchen it emphasizes the need to paint the rest of the kitchen. I will have to paint it in tiny sections, but I want to start with the ceiling which has NEVER been painted, seriously the ceiling tiles have just the primer they are sold with. I also decided to exchange the unopened gallon of flat white I bought last summer for a semi gloss for the ceiling and I have picked out a high gloss for the blue cabinets. This will compound all the ambient light available and make it easier to SEE overall. Now I just have to make a point of DOING it, and taking that much more time away from the writing.
The painting is just another thing in the long line of things that requires doing around here, but it IS something I can do and doesn’t cost much to make a dramatic change. All the rooms need painting and some of the outside is starting to demand it too. I made up my mind to move the bed into the office and the office into the living room. The bed I bought last year i still in a box upstairs..where it will be for quite a while If i let it. I think once I begin moving furniture around I will be able to paint some of the walls and trim. It will be completely contrary to how I was always taught, no way would I be able to do an entire room or even ceiling. And I am sure I will end up with paint on things not scheduled to be painted. But it’s an improvement that I can do without hiring anyone. I did it for a living after college, with my uncle… and I can hear him critiquing me about sloppiness even now.
You get better at painting like anything else, from practice. Writing also gets better if you do it a lot, but sadly I can’t find it getting any easier.
Once the sun goes down I will take another pass with the weedwacker, I don’t want all the neighbors to come back from their weekends away and think that my weeds are infecting their green carpets.