I see said the blind chick

troostIt fucking snowed again …not much, just enough to let you know it COULD if it really wanted to. They tell me spring is coming…this doesn’t warm any of my cockles…it means sooner or later the utility companies are going to be looking for their pound of flesh….and here i was last august thinking i would be shed of this place and have paid them off – be somewhere else entirely stressing out how to pay entirely different utility companies by now. Fuckity, fuck fuck fuck.

I only leave the house for absolute errands now – pet food, groceries and the library and only at night. I’m terrified of the truck getting impounded, you know if i get stopped that’s exactly what they will do – i never get the guy with the warning. I think beat up old trucks with beat up old ladies in them must just be an affront to their dignity. Wanna know what really burns? I accidentally paid my car insurance twice…so i’m like two months ahead. Doesn’t matter, my eyesight is getting worse, i won’t be driving at night any more soon..i have been wearing my reading glasses too much…without them the screen is just wiggly ants. I need new bifocal type glasses …more fuckity.


Becoming an agoraphobe by force instead of by choice isn’t any different….the days still seem rather long and boring….despite already getting up a half dozen times at night, I refill the food bowls at about 6:30 and then wait for the migraine meds to kick in before i can turn on the monitor. Yes, i realize the monitor may be the cause of the migraines… then i process and ship any orders that came in since the day before, hopefully 2 or 3, which is the bare minimum i need to keep shit going on, if i got 7 or 8 orders a day, i could probably pay the utilities…at least hat’s what i am banking on once I move and double my inventory…then i try to spend the rest of the morning fucking around with books I want to publish – no sense rushing on that, i don’t want the Maine books to carry the Methuen address on the verso, and i don’t want to start spending money on ISBNs and such, for books I won’t vend for months and months…See? I play at the championship level when it comes to rationalizations.

The rest of the day is taken up by cleaning up after the circus, making as many cups of tea as I feel like recycling, and cruising the internet for frugal decorating ideas and researching all the pitfalls to buying a house. If I am feeling especially ambitious…usually on days when I have upped my caffiene quota or the sun is especially bright, i will tackle a cupboard or a bookshelf and look for something to get voted off the island. I am down to unloading things for which there is no profitable secondary market… banged up furniture or books usually go out to freecycle. I felt especially smug last week when i unloaded a shit load of plastic hangers from clothing I had donated. But I am getting down to the point where the furniture that’s left but making the trip is still being used. I expect the end of days to be a little chaotic – perhaps i will just put everything left on the lawn and label it ‘free’.

I think I am done culling books until I get new glasses, i have a lot i still want to get read before I die, but i have essentially stopped reading: the print’s too small, the paper’s too yellow, etc… instead I am pillaging the library for audiobooks…a LOT more audiobooks than I am consuming… I had started ripping my own audiobooks to my external hard drive when i was paring down…i still like OWNING and relistening to my favorites, a lot like i like owning hard copies of my favorite Books and DVDs – but That’s down to one box now, with a short wish list on Amazon. But I don’t know what will be available at the library system where I am going, where I am, i have access to practically anything on audio in eastern Massachusetts. So, any book title I wanted to get ‘read’ if that’s the word, is finding its way into my hard drive hoard. As I listen if I don’t like it, i just delete it. But getting them there is a pain in the ass, to be sure. Using RealPlayer to rip audiobook CDs you just can’t set it and forget it, it seems every damn disc information has to be checked and corrected after its saved, to ensure you have every file and every disc folder properly labeled. I have been told by those who know that ripping to an MP3 format is not the best audio quality, to which i reply I

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don’t give a shit. I really can’t tell the difference with spoken word, through crap speakers on a computer or shunted to the kindle.

After ripping them, I am presently listening to J. Maarten Troost’s Travel books….if you like Bill Bryson you will love Troost. After the first few chapters of the first disc, the all went on my Amazon wishlist, and I will add their hardcopies to my collection when I have the money. I already own all the Brysons on CD but not in bookform, he really is more of a raconteur than a writer. My hard drive is filling up with more non-fiction than fiction. And I expect I will go through most of them while doing all the repairs on the new house…or perhaps through next year’s winter, where I will be once again snowed inside with the furry circus, though hopefully voluntarily.

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