lizard brain

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A year ago i challenged the universe…please take my advice…never ever challenge the universe, it always takes you seriously.   A year ago I got fed up with being miserable and tolerating the casual abuse flicked at me by my brother, like a 9 year old with food on a fork…  I threw up my hands and said “that’s it! I can be poor anywhere, I don’t have to be poor here.”  And today those chickens are coming home to roost..I may have just mixed a metaphor there, no I am not getting chickens…well probably not…forget the chickens – now that we are coming down to the wire, the actual costs are piling up…title insurance, the house insurance,  water and sewer, and today I arranged all the utility transfers…so for at least 3 weeks of August I will have two residences, with 2 electrics, 2 gas and 2 internets…like I don’t have a hard enough time paying my bills?

And the icing on that cake is that aside from still having to buy frivolous things like a bed, a dining table and perhaps a place to sit…the Back Door will cost about $2000…that’s not a misprint, that’s a two with three zeroes…the baseboard removal alone is like 5 bills and the specially sized door for my hobbity house has to be ordered – cha ching. Now that’s the icing…the cake topper…are you sitting down?  the porch..my comfort and my company, the most used room in the house, the space that will make this glorified dorm room of a house work for me and my fuzzy roommates? that’s like 12 grand….that’s a TWELVE with a grand after it.  And I said to the man…….”when can you start?”  – I swear to Bilbo, I am living out a subplot of Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House…what seems like a reasonable proposition with a reasonable price tag is dangled in front of your lizard brain like a damsel fly in distress and the tongue darts out and grabs it and only once it is inside your stupid gullet do you realize it’s a fully loaded Boeing.

The only saving grace is that IT IS the room that makes the rest of the house work for me.  I will have an enclosed space that makes the cats happy, yet keeps my mess out of the living areas…and I won’t have to heat it come winter.  Between this magically endowed porch and the waterproofed basement I will have doubled the usable space of the house for about $18k.  Yes, I realize I could have found a house for that price that was even bigger.. I can swing a live cat and hit several of them…but they would be fixer uppers and most likely out in the boonies.  Besides it was time,  I was done..I had no looking left in me. I can bitch, but it is a perfectly suitable house…’I’m’ the one with the baggage that doesn’t fit inside.

I took a cruise through Lowes to check the prices on the paint for the floors, and the epoxy for the kitchen – then there will be screen doors for the interior…or at least lumber so I can build them…as well as lumber for shelving..and primer and so forth.  It’s your typical, new homeowner crap…i guess no matter what house you buy and in what condition, it will always be a big hungry baby, sucking up all excess capital.    And indeed, i will certainly be poor somewhere else – but the somewhere else is 180 degrees away from where I am now……and technically no worse off than i was before, just a half a step off the bag.     I checked, she’s not leaving the patio set….but Lowes has them for about $100 … shouldn’t they be having an end of summer sale?

 

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