monthly nuts

SquirrelwithnutI finally read the fine print on my Greenfield fantasy….. yes the place is postcard ready and the houses are cheap as chicklets …but the residential tax rate is $19  SWEET GEEBUS!- it is the 11th highest in the state…out of 234 or something.  The people in Methuen have no business bitching about the taxes, here they are only $11.

I guess I will end up with a mortgage – it’s just called something else……adding that something else to all my other something elses and I find I am slowly curling back into a fetal position and starting to rock.

My monthly NUT* will be  taxes($230 a month on a 150k house) plus  water/sewage, gas, electric, internet, cell phone, car insurance, car excise tax and so forth. I try very hard never to look at them all lined up like that. I rarely get paid in lump sums large enough to meet all those debts.  Cash dribbles in a little here a little there, with a couple of hundred wandering off from the road unexpectedly now and then. So i play musical money with the bills until I gather enough together to take a bill out of rotation every so often.

And mind you every product I sell needs to be bought, there’s also office and shipping supplies, software upgrades,  food, clothing, pet food, litter, vet bills, gasoline, and here i am picking out furniture and curtains!! …i had forgotten all about curtains…. holy crap I’m gonna need a real job! in addition to all my other jobs. No wonder i started drinking coffee….i may never sleep again. When will i have time to sleep?

Slowly the amount of disposable income i am allowing for getting the house in a suitable condition is dwindling away. In my imagination I had expected to buy the house, truck, couch etc.. all the MUST haves,  in an intense spending frenzy – like gathering all the puzzle pieces to assemble my new life…thus all the preplanning and window shopping and fantaizing.    Afterward  immediately cut back to normal expenditures only. Well that was the plan.   But with the monthly nut creeping up unexpectedly, and no sure guarantee all my cockamamie investment in my own abilities to earn more money, i really need to look at this is an entirely different way.


Actually NOT having a house already makes it a little easier to plan what i am going to be doing to it.  Turns out IN GREENFIELD actually headquarted NEAR where I am looking at houses.   Apparently Greenfield is a hot bed of Solar power.   At least three companies will install not only a Solar water heating system but a complete photovoltaic system so i will be off the grid as much as i can be.   If i have the money, what the hell?  I will get a lot back from government programs, and then i will save on the monthly nut from day one.  If i live there another 20 years…knock wood, I will be making a hell of a profit…all the extra energy gets credited to your account, so perhaps i can get the utility companies to OWE me money finally.

celestialtoiletseatWell that’s the plan i am going with.  So while I am looking at houses, I need to find one with lots of southern facing ROOF space.  Hell, i can add the outbuilding just to add more solar panels.  Can I put solar panels on a chicken coop?

Wanna know the absolutely WEIRD AS SHIT PART?  i have already been looking at a celestial theme slipcover fabric  for the futon and that sent me to looking at curtains and other decorative themes..including a shower curtain, suncatcher, wallpaper trim and so forth….ALL With the SUN/MOON  theme such as this toilet bowl seat …. as much as i think the too much of any theme is TWEE…and i’ve never been accused of being TWEE…..i’m really digging this entire line of thought.

If i am not buying a duplex, there is no reason the property can’t be helping out as much as possible.  And yes i still want the garden and the chickens and the whole 9 yards.   GOT NUTS?

*Back in the day traveling entertainers would set up in a town field and once they agreed on the amount to pay the town for the privilege of setting up, the sheriff would take the large nut that secured one of the wagon wheels on the biggest wagon. Until the performers were able to raise enough to pay the amount, they would not get their nut back.

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