nuts!

Where the hell are all the pecans? ever so slowly pecans in the shell have become an extinct species in New England. Now,  I don’t keep a lot of holiday traditions, but I do like to have a few pecans around the holiday. This habit stems from when I was a kid, at three we lived in Virginia with my grandparents and there was a Pecan tree on the neighbors lawn and I would spend hours sitting on the front stoop smashing and eating the groundfall. For years afterwards, Herself would always put pecans in my Christmas stocking. But this was decades before free trade made it difficult for some of us to satisfy our nut jones. See this NYT article if you don’t believe me, apparently the Chinese have been hoarding our nuts. It’s been 3 decades since I even had a christmas stocking but I still like the smashing and eating part.

For the last 2 or 3 years, I have not been able to find LOOSE or even bagged Pecans in the supermarket.  Sure you can find pecan meat in bags,  either whole or chopped, but seriously what fun is that?   I want them in the shell, so i can crush them against each other in my fist or whip them at a cat causing trouble across the room.  Whenever I ask around, folks always sends me to some obscure store I don’t normally visit.  Well, you can just guess that I am NOT going to drive around hell and creation looking for a bag of nuts.  So last year I got this great idea to buy some from the internet. Unfortunately I couldn’t find a decent price for 1 or 2 lbs, it was actually cheaper to buy 5 lbs straight from the manufacturers in Georgia.  As you can guess I ate about 2 and half pounds and then let the cats play with a good number of them.  After that they sat on the counter mocking me well into summer.

This year I had no such largess of funds to buy 5lbs of nuts online just to waste half of them.   I tossed my problem out to the local freecycle group and sure enough pecans in the shell were sighted at the Walmart Superstore in the next town.   Not somewhere I usually visit, but since this is the holidays, I plugged in my headphones and made the trek…i am not exaggerating it took me 3 hours to get there, shop and get back…it IS the holidays and it was Walmart.

They had bagged pecans $5 per pound in 1 lb bags. lets see what else is $5 per pound? certified Angus beef?  Imported brie?  this is nuts guys…American nuts no less and they grow on damn trees.  sheesh…and I bought 2 bags.  yeah well i don’t expect to go back to Walmart until next December, so they had to last me. scuse me i’m going to put on my smashing heels.

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