I think i broke the scale on panic attacks this morning, from about 6am on, i was checking the bank account every few minutes.   the money for my house sale finally made it into my account, but not until i started chasing it ….it was wired to my bank…and casually got there sometime this morning ….and the bank sat on it until i called them to inquire..and after all this i had to pay a lousy $10 ransom for a wire free before it would be deposited…well left on a desk for 3 hours until i had called twice more…and THEN deposited in my account.   I didn’t waste anytime and within about an hour, i had cleared my debts, utility companies and mechanic, the only stupid little bill on my credit report from breaking a cell phone contract.

There was also a unexpected leftover check from the escrow account for $1600.  So i took off the guilt brakes and cleared the most important things off my Amazon Wish List with some of it.

Sony-RX100-II-product-shot-4 For the 1st time in my life since i was what? pre college? I am debt free…granted i no longer own my own home nor a working vehicle….luckily i still have some generous friends,  and i have the loan of an SUV for the week, so i can go look for a truck.  I really would rather get one from outside the salt zone, i just have no way to get it here.

I thought i would feel better, everyone tells me i’m supposed to feel better.  I just don’t.  Now i have to start paying NEW BILLS instead of old ones – website and business related and now RENT.

They handed us ‘packets’ yesterday with the little booklet itemizing all the things we aren’t allowed to do in a corporate owned apartment now…which is basically everything worth doing.  I can’t wait to get out of here.  But where ever i go i will be paying rent and such for someplace i don’t own.  I hate that.  I don’t like being a tenant, and i’ve only been a tenant for what? 48 hours?

I am terrified that something will happen to the money that will prevent me from buy a house of my own again.  I’d hate to be a tenant of a corporation that really just wants everyone to live boring little lives in tiny little boxes.

new camera coming on monday….yay.

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