personal views

view from pleasant st We got a closing date yesterday…May 16th…baring unforseen events…if the owner inspects it and likes what he sees, yatta yatta yatta… meanwhile my fakakta lawyer who NEVER initiates contact with me, at no time bothered discussing with me what i am going to do on May 17th. These people who AREN’T moving are way to fucking relaxed if you ask me. The next person who tells me not to worry is going to die from the effort. Basically he’s like…”you’re a tenant, just get together with your sister and law and write out a lease and start paying rent and pretend nothing’s wrong and maybe they won’t evict you – but be prepared to move.” Holy fucking christ is he SERIOUS with this malarkey? just RELAX and Wait for the hand grenade to be thrown into my life? I DID have to remind him that i hired HIM to deal with my sister in law…as far as Mrs Himself is concern i could be dead on the floor and it would be no skin off her nose…HIS JOB is to take care of this shit. …yeah i know i was gonna stop swearing in these posts. Whatever…Since the new owner is just a landlord they probably won’t mind if i just keep giving them money for the privilege of staying here, cept for the fact that i have more than the average amount of furry roommates. Realistically what is done is done, and getting me out on May 17th plus 30 days, isn’t any better for them than letting me stay for a few months. So, perhaps i will just wing it…yeah…like that’s ever happens.

Meanwhile I have had it with the broker in Maine, she’s useless and unenthusiastic, she won’t even discuss the house i do want, but she also hasn’t bothered asking me what i liked about it nor suggested alterate houses. I didn’t fire her, i just stopped talking to her. I have a call into a broker who is a friend of a friend, and my broker HERE is still trying to reach out and touch someone.

The elephant in the room is ‘how much of a dick’ should i be about the little red house? how far will i go to TRY to get the damn thing and WHY? Part of my brain…remember those guys? feels very guilty about making things difficult for everyone including myself, and thinks i should just settle for some other house. (why does everything think i have STOPPED LOOKING? i am very well aware of every house under 150k from kittery to brunswick at this point) But the other part of my brain…and actually my heart, feet, hands, and various and sundry organs know that if i don’t TRY to get the house I want, i will always blame myself for not TRYING hard enough.

So i have decided to be a dick about it, at least for a while. I will hang on here for as long as I can, and when it becomes difficult or they ask me to leave, I will rent a house in Maine – until HUD lists the red house for auction and I can put in a bid. If i fail to get it…then so be it, THEN i will look for another house, but I need to make an attempt.

The painful think is that the day i start paying rent…the day I rent a storage unit to start moving my crap, i will have started spending the NEW money. The money that was earmarked for the purchase and renovation of the new house. Now granted it will take me quite some time before i spend enough to make a dent in the actual purchase price of the new house…what will be shrinking is the bowl of money that isn’t house related…i will be spending my cushion – any safety net will be blown through as soon as i waste the first twenty thousand. That’s what keeps me awake at night now. I need to start refilling THAT bowl of money, as soon as possible. I need to start spending the NEW money in ways that will bring in even NEWER money to replace it.

After a suspiciously warm day – I went to bed with the windows open…and woke up at 5 am with snow on the sills.  I had to close all the windows and turn on the heat just to crawl back in bed.  The chihuahua wouldn’t even come out from under the covers.   I took the picture of the view from my bedroom at 6am, just as the overcast sky was making the snow glow blue.  When I made a list of what i liked about this house….the two things that couldn’t be added to any other house…were the central location…and the view.  The little red house has both of those and a good start at all the other things on the list.  If i don’t make an attempt at getting a view I am have to live with for the next 20 plus years..then i don’t deserve to have one.

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