relocating the relocation

2013-12-18 10.30.18This is the view from my office window of a small section of the yard. The view from the front yard isn’t much better, the snow covered shrubs are higher….think ‘The Shining’ shrubbery.   It gets very lonely around here in winter..up on the hill in the middle of town,  My trucks get progressively older and rattier, so my travel options are always limited…walking anywhere is life threatening.   I’m depressed, lonely and bored….christ i am going to gain a terrible amount of weight this winter.

Still no word from the evil empire…or my lawyer for that matter, he REALLY has no patience for me nagging him, so i sit and i wait.  The most interesting thing i have done is expand my relocation search grid to NH and Maine …just for kicks.   The only really benefit to living downstate NH is that the few friends i have are closer…which means nothing, i barely see as it is,  ‘cept on rescue business.  It may solve the housing problem, but the property taxes are scary huge and there’s no tourist economy to fuel the history reprints.   So my personal economy won’t do as well….i think.

Southern Maine on the other hand has a giant tourist economy and a lot of venues to sell local history reprints point of sale, i’d have to rewrite my business plan to have a significant growth factor.  It is was also my “when i grow up, i’m going to move to ______”  place.  Through all the years I commuted to Boston to work, i would take my camera and dog to Maine on the weekends, just to see what there was to see…. and that’s when i collected all the antiques which became my trousseau which was the first thing to get sold, when my husband had me quit my job so i could work at minimum wage ones closer to home..long story, don’t ask.

Maine was always a goal… i hadn’t thought about it in a long time….and certainly not since they elected a mental patient Governor.  But for shits and giggles i am looking at the house listings there…just because…I have Greenfield to compare it to.  Like western mass or anywhere you have towns, where if you have to ask you can’t afford, and there are places where hell i could buy 5 houses and have money leftover..sorry Sanford…I finally had to make a LIST of the qualities I am looking for,  to adequately compare apples and oranges.  Simply stating, “I want to live someplace that brings me joy”, isn’t tangible enough.

Right now the leading contenders are Saco/Biddeford and Old Orchard Beach…. Biddeford / Saco an old milltowns, large Canadian influence,  but i think it’s too big – i am not sure yet… it isn’t calling me…Old Orchard Beach has a couple of things i like and a couple of things i’s a beach recreation town…think ferris wheels and cotton candy…so in the winter, it’s JUST the residents which i think gives it an appeal…but being densely populated in spots, 19th century house lots have given way to mobile home spacing.  There maybe houses i can afford, but they will be beat up, and i will have to pay more for a nicer one.  And i have no idea how much solar power i can generate unless i have enough roof space….its all a muddle…right now i am JUST looking.  Being centrally located along the coast,  i could really build up a nice cottage industry selling point of sale historical reprints in the gift shops in about 9 towns.  Not gobs of money, but a steady on season trickle.  I need to learn more about the communities…

oobIn either place i don’t see the people being much different from those of the Merrimack Valley….and you can say…people are the same all over…that’s not true… Where i live the mass of people are unhappy and lacking hope. Seriously i am not kidding, i have been here 50 years i think i know by now.  And I see Greenfield behaving a way that IS overly more progressive, building things instead of wallowing in its ruins.   Over the last 15 years i have seen parts of southern Maine trending towards progressivism, at least a number of my more liberal leaning friends have moved there, usually after fleeing NYC.  But that comes with gentrification and that means higher property values, and Old Orchard Beach is a little low rent for what i am looking for, but  i am sure a ‘summer’ town has its appeal, it reminds of locales for murder mysteries.  I do like Maine in Winter though…a lot…if i moved there, i would buy a shit ton more camera equipment.

Right now i am fixated on this little house in Old Orchard is going cheap, too cheap, it must have been trashed, looks like it needs a roof and probably a kitchen, and the bath looks replaced…you can tell when the fixtures look like a motel room. But it suits a lot of my criteria…i just don’t think its’ typical of what is for sale there and i don’t think there’s enough southern roof space on the garage and house for all my solar panels…oh well…i’m going to have to make SOME concessions someplace i bet.  IF i picked southern maine i would HAVE to triple my publishing output anyway.

It’s not that i have counter OUT Greenfield….i’m just bored and frustrated and i need to keep at least half the voices in my head busy…if i don’t they bang on about how at this rate NONE of the houses i am looking at will be available..which is true, i just don’t need to hear it…and if my brother has his way, i am going to walk away with a lot less money than i deserve which will put a damper on the entire house shopping spree…and not to mention this is a commercial building…when it sells, they are not going to want to close until get my ass out of it, so i will be in a mad rush to buy something somewhere, just so i can get paid.

Thinking and planning to move to Greenfield was bringing me great joy for a while…the longer it takes the more i start doubling thinking my plans and decisions and wondering if i am MAKING a mistake someplace a long the way. Ya got to admit, i am not the mental giant I think I am.  If i am so smart why ain’t i rich?  If my previous decisions were good ones, SOMETHING would have panned out along the way.. i wouldn’t be as big a failure…hence…i am revisiting every decision right back to…should i move…well that’s a done deal, there are too many people involved now… and my brother is just evil and should burn in hell…so i need to move, even if i don’t want to.  Should I move to Greenfield ? i don’t know…should i stay in Methuen? Hell fucking no. The only thing that is absolute is staying in New England… the rest of the country scares the crap out of me.







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