santa baby

Mike, the mail carrier left me empty bins . . . . a man who knows what I like. He’s getting a bottle of Jack, from the look of him, I’d say he’s a Bud man, but you just can’t give beer for xmas it’s just so déclassé. I figure he can trade it for something, at the postal carriers holiday banquet.

No one in my family ever gave me books for gifts, they didn’t read, and the entire book thing was a giant mystery to them. Come to think of it no one has ever given books as gifts, I suspect that may be the same for most people who vend them. What do you give someone that they may want that they couldn’t get for themselves? It’s a very coals to Newcastle thing.

Since everyone and his great aunt Regret are foisting gift lists on the stumped, I figure I will play monkey do. What do you give a bookseller that ain’t books?

How about stuff we actually want? How come now one gives us supplies? when we’ve run out and finally DO buy bubble wrap and packing tape we only buy what we actually need to get us through to the next time we can afford to buy it. So why not give it to us when we DON’T need it. Think of them like socks and underwear – you don’t have a problem giving THOSE it seems. One year my cousin David got 27 pairs of tube socks. He was a boring child and everyone just looked at him and thought socks.

and a digital scale – yeah give us those… this was like my BEST purchase ever, i drag this from room to room with me. It’s only a 5 pounder, so eventually I want a big girl’s scale – but this is just right in a Goldilocks kinda way.

Then there is stuff that we’d LIKE but certainly wouldn’t buy for ourselves – well anyone who isn’t me. All of Bryson’s work are must haves, but His newest on Shakespeare is peerless. It’s not about what we know ABOUT the bard, but what we DON’T know about him and how come we don’t know it. cool eh? and get it on CD not paper! Bryson’s clever, but his real forté is as a raconteur, it’s his delivery that puts it over the top. I wish audio books were around in the days of Alexander King.

And then there’s Bernard, Dylan Moran’s inebriated, intolerant and wicked tongued bookseller – Bernard Black. What can you say about Bernard that he hasn’t said about himself? Yes, the box set is pricey considering the Brits have the good sense to only make 6 practically perfect episodes per season of something delicious instead of cranking out 22 episodes a year, of which 12 are shite, 5 aren’t altogether insipid and the rest are worth watching once when you are too tired to find the remote which has migrated under your arse. We all need a little Bernard to get us through some days when it’s hard to find reasons not to pitch a customer through a plate glass window.

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