size matters

needles Someone on Freecycle needed a specialized needle, so i dug out one my needleboxes..this is just the one for the large craft style needles. I have a bit of a tool fetish, if something needs fixing i like having the right tool for the job. of course i couldn’t just GO to a drawer or a table where my sewing supplies live, i had to move a box and go into a closet then fumble around in a larger box to find this smaller one. the same shit goes on with the soldering stuff, everytime i feel like practicing i have to open the box and set everything up and then after a few minutes of eye strain i have to break it all down and put it all away and put the box back in the closet. To open my bed room closet most times of the year i have to move an upholstered chair, the other half the year, i have to move the chair just to get into the room. (i move the bed away from the windows in winter)

As I poke around the apartment at the bookcases and cupboards identifying things I can put into boxes where they will probably remain for up to 18 months. I realize that for a small fairly thinly decorated apartment I have stuff squirreled away in all the nooks and crannies that most people would have had on display or at least where they can get at them for normal usage. Being short of stature i can’t reach 60% of my cupboards – but that’s where i store most of the -I-really-can’t-part-with cooking and bakeware which i don’t use anymore because i don’t have a stove or regular oven. I did give away my dear to my heart large enough to cook a small child LeCreuset Dutch oven but it is someplace it gets daily use. In my house it was just gathered dust. My kitchen which 70 years ago was actually a hallway, is less usable than most boat galleys but i DO like to cook or at least i did when i had a real kitchen with real appliances. These last 5 or 6 years I had just given up on the idea of having a real kitchen again, so i started divesting and divesting… I just emptied all the kitchenware from the trailer and realized i would have to find homes for it all. It’s all still in a box on the porch, i may just put it back in the trailer as a lagniappe if i can ever manage to sell the trailer.

95% of all my clothes hangs inside ONE 8 foot wide closet, what doesn’t are some winter coats, socks and underwear. once a year I purge the closet so it doesn’t get too tight to find things. Even if i owned more clothes, i only have one other closet in the house and right now its got shelves of food in it. All the bathroom towels hang from hooks, the small linen closet has tools and paint cans in it. Just pulling something out of any stored area in the house usually means moving a couple of things to get To the thing i want to get to.

When i looked at the house on LINDEN, i worked myself up to discard it because in my honest opinion it was 25% larger than what i was actually looking for. I WANT at least five rooms, two of which are bedrooms, as i need a spare room i can use as an office, and perhaps as a guest room, I absolutely need a garage and a screen porch and i would kill for a real eat in kitchen with a window. Aside from that as much storage as i can get, especially for SicPress products and shipping supplies. I had it in my mind that i can find all that in 1500 square feet, perhaps i can. But my fear was that after years of lightening my load and skiving my life down into a very small footprint,  that if i HAD a third bedroom and a dining room and so forth,  it would be TOO MUCH space and i would end up feeling like i had this ponderous house sucking my life’s energy from me.

I can see myself backsliding into filling all the available space with STUFF. It’s the life i wanted to have wayy way way back when, before i got married..when was that? 1990? i think. i WANTED a house with a room for everything and everything in its place. A place where i could leave my sewing machine set up or a workbench where my tool box could live, and i wouldn’t have to dig it out from underneath the sink every time i needed a pair of pliers. I wanted a hall closet for coats and a an attic for suitcases, and a basement for whatever the hell you keep in basements.

Just when I think i finally managed to purge all of my mothers storage from all the little crevasses in the building, I find another little pocket of bags of handle bags stuffed with tissue stored in a box. And I worry that it is genetic. If given a seven room house with a full basement and two car garage WILL i fill it to the rafters with stuff i don’t remember i have? will I be able to find a needle in a larger haystack? or will i just say fuck it, its too far a walk to the sewing room, i will just order another box of needles?

Did i mention we lost the New New tenants? yeah Himself overcharged the girl upstairs for her apartment so she had the boyfriend move into cover the costs, and when Himself finally noticed he wanted to run a credit check on him. They declined and decided to move out instead. You know you gotta hand it to drug dealers they DO pay their rent ontime and in cash. So now we have TWO empty apartments. Lawyer #11 has tried to light a fire under him about getting the damn house listed, and he keeps thinking it needs to be filled, but at this rate it is emptying faster than he can fill it. and if we are just selling it, why they hell does he give a shit who he rents to? he doesn’t live here? and i don’t want to.

If the house sold tomorrow you can be sure i would be begging for the chance to buy 7 rooms with all the storage in the world. what’s a few more needles?

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