oh for fuck’s sake…. another 4 inches of snow this morning, granted by the end of the day it had mostly melted away. But I am getting sick of waiting for the day when I am NOT sick AND the weather is warm enough for me to be active outside. I am still coughing for some reason..who knows why? maybe I’ll die. hell Monday I slept for 12 hours and I got up tired. Glad I don’t have a real job, I need my naps.
I am in the mood to start the renovations in the yard, but until I can do it without getting sicker. the only things I have managed to do is start sketching out the yard. and figured out the cost for the wood for the raised beds. Since I am seriously broke again…ah…back to my natural state….. I will pace myself and perhaps build one a week. But first I have to dig up all the flat stones and bricks in the yard and put them where they will do the most good. Didn’t I BUY this place because the yard was nice…well basically it’s not that nice. It’s just green.
The only other thing I accomplished was to drag the bike in from the shed. It needs a tune up at the very least….and the porch is another problem. Over Easter I was reminded that I have to make room for guests someplace in this squalid mess. Another thing I am waiting for warm weather for. When it’s warm enough to open all the doors in the place, I will do some serious cleaning and rearranging….and strangely I’m thinking of hammocks attached to the rafters…. doesn’t require any floor space, and it won’t matter where the cat boxes are… huh? huh? good idea right? yeah well we’ll see, never could sleep in them myself. can’t hardly sleep in the piece of shit futon/bunk I have now.
I have an idea about some reflective insulation fabric upstairs…it’s not paneling, but it will cover up the fiberglass insulation enough to sleep up there and not die right? well, see, it all hinges on money. All the money I invested in the business was pretty much a waste…4K for the website and 5K in products and sales are about the same as last year, i’m pretty much fucked, i should have sold out and just gotten a real job. It would take at least 3 or 4 years before I go postal and want to kill everyone I know. nah, not really…at least if the tiniest bit of sales come in, it more money than i would make after I quit whatever job I currently hate.
and if it continue to snow like this, i’m gonna get even more openly hostile and suicidal. I need to get out of the house. Even if to root around in the mud. If the air is warm enough I am sure my cough will get burnt out of me. I washed the panniers and got a new backpack just for biking to work. I am spending a lot of time THINKING about getting out, that’s gotta count for something.