tabula rasa

i’m in the mood to not only stop blogging my petty whininess, but to delete what is it? 8 years of blogs?  the only comments i get are spam, and i think there’s really only 7 people reading this whining crap anyway.   I am a little fed up, my paranoia is on overdrive and i am profoundly sad.   My brother scared the shit out of the nice couple in #1 and they moved out in tears..he told them they were going to get evicted eventually… these were the nicest folks in the nicest apartment.  this is all information my broker and my lawyer kept from me, because they didn’t think I needed to know…not only do i spend many decades having information filtered FOR me from my family, in order to control me, now i am getting it from people i will be paying FIVE figures to.  it’s too late to fire anyone and i am too broke to do anything but sit and wait for the axe.  if anyone’s apartment needs a makover its mine, so i am sure that i will be the one evited.  tell me again why i hired people to protect me?  well they don’t even return my calls anymore… they barely return my emails.  I have an appointment with accountant on monday, it sounds like between the lawyer, the broker, the accountant and the taxes, i won’t even have enough to buy a house …not with all the work it will need.   I WAS trying to get an appointment to see a house that just went on the market in Biddeford…some fucked up old house in some pocket of town that’s not near enough to anything to be interesting…but it’s cheap …and fucked up, hence huge ceiling holes and water damage.. but then THAT broker hasn’t called me back…and neither has the one i talked to last week…sadly she seemed over the moon to help me chase down the little red house, but she hasn’t returned any of my calls either. …what do i SMELL?   It takes me six tries to give away a kayak paddle on freecycle.   My world has become very very tiny, and it has a deafening echo. 926659_6

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