track and confirm

The reason people constantly check their email on vacation is so that they don’t come back to a folder full of fresh hell. After i got back from my 48 hour vacation…i mean it…48 hours to the minute where someone actually died….and i can’t even call it my worst vacation ever…i spent time cleaning up after my roommates last night..the cats didn’t total the apartment but they gave it the old college that this morning i could face my INBOX without distractions. Alas …my inbox is full of landmines… one is displayed above.

Whenever we would travel as a family…my mother would make us clean the house to a farethewell. The idea was to come home to a clean house… thus..friday before I left I had done all the dishes, the laundry, swept and washed the floors, shipped everything i could afford to, and even pushed out first class items with free priority shipping and a couple of priority items OVERNIGHT at my expense so that when i returned i was only 48 hours BEHIND. This is good in concept.

When i returned i had an empty sink to put all the empty food bowls and i had clean sheets to put on the bed. HOWEVER this fucking package, though the postal service swears they DELIVERED IT, is no where near the customer’s hands. The problem WITH Delivery Confirmation is that even if the carrier drops it down a manhole, hands it to a crack addict on the corner or flings it into the sea, as long as he scans it first, then it registers as delivery confirmed. Thus this package is registered as DELIVERED but no one knows where the fuck it is. I spent an hour or so getting banged about by USPS.COM and Consumer Affairs where they are blaming ME for not spending MORE than $17.95 to buy extra insurance and signature confirmation..because obviously Express shipping wasn’t enough.

MIND YOU….the fucking package contains TWO count em TWO erasers that when sold net me $3 goddamn dollars..and by the way did I forget to mention that I had already paid for FIRST CLASS shipping and left the package on the porch for the carrier where they FORGOT to pick it up and it got rain on and i the label ran and it was too late to void the label to i repacked it for EXPRESS overnight and then the story starts again… So I am out …2 erasers…first class shipping…and express shipping because of course sometime soon i need to reimburse the customer for a package i needed to get delivered by this morning.

oh joy…. Perhaps Track and Confirm means something different to the USPS than it does to the rest of us.

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