twice nothing is

2014-06-28 09.55.46The red truck came back to me the other day, the folks who bought it changed their mind…after 12 months of waiting to buy the truck as an agricultural vehicle, they changed their mind AFTER i had filled out the back of the title.   This week I already had to spend another 2 hours at the Registry trying to get the NEW truck registered…the dealership had once again messed up the paperwork, and it was also now listed as a NEW registration…causing me to surrender my old plates…so now i don’t have the old plates to put back on the old truck which is sitting in the back of the yard…and i can’t sell it again until i get the replacement title from the Registry ($25) If the knew owners give me shit about having an unregistered vehicle I will just push it into the garage..lots of space in there now that i took everything of mine out.

2014-06-27 14.24.05I’m going through another spate of divesting. I don’t know why it helps…i guess it’s either this or angry cleaning. Took a truck load of crap up to the wildlife sanctuary… I just missed the wolves swimming in the river. I finally got the heavy dresser out of my bedroom and up to them. It was great to store cameras in but now it was empty..and it broke my rules..never own anything you can’t lift. The dresser and the divesting are a knee jerk reaction to taking a peek inside the little red house..the rooms were way bigger in my imagination..i had to calculate the square feet in my apartment to buy a new air conditioner..(yes the money is just FLYING through my fingers..but i couldn’t rationalize keeping the one the cat sanctuary gave me last year, when the woman who keeps the cat sanctuary clean Needs it herself. so i am donating it back) Turns out the house is really not all that much bigger than my apartment. and the bedrooms have those slanted walls i hate. My theory is that even if i DON’T get THAT house, the odds are good any house i will buy will be dinky as all hell, so downsizing even further isn’t a BAD thing overall. Especially since i have so much crap laying around now. I have been downsizing since my mother died..5 years ago – how come i still have SO MUCH CRAP???

2014-06-28 09.33.36 I kept shuffling this box of us navy corning dishes around from storage to storage..i like them least i did for my last house, but they proved enormous even to store in my present kitchen. They finally went on Craigslist when I realize i don’t want to drag them to another house. over the last 6 months, I bought a few loose pieces of a nice white Bavarian porcelain for whatever new house I move into. It is as light and strong as the corningware I eat off now but it’s a smidgen classier. Funny once the house sold, i didn’t have the urge to even LOOK at anything else to buy for the new house. Now if I have to buy something…like the A/C unit..or the camera, or the new hot plate…it is because i need to use it NOW. It breaks my heart to spend the money, no really it nags me at night…but i can keep thinking like a peasant – i still shop at thrift stores and family dollar but i can’t live like one. I am the one who buys lunch now, and makes the donation, i’m can’t justify being on the receiving end…at least not until I buy a house and then cinderella will transform again into a scullery maid.

2014-06-28 08.15.05-1 As for being depressed about possibly losing the house to a pocket listing..or even an overbid by someone who will knock it down to build something unsightly on the spot…I asked myself ‘what do rich folks do when they want something?’ and i called a lawyer. the fella I spoke to is another Masshole expat living up in Maine turns out he lived one town over from me here, and he’s one town over from the little red house. He didn’t seem to think there would be a mad rush of buyers for that spot near the train tracks and the waste treatment plant in a house wraped in asbestos..but then HE didn’t see the view. In fact when i went to see it, I didn’t see the view either…the damn shrubbery had grown up like topsy all over all the fences. But he said he’d look into it over the weekend and get back to me if he thought sending a letter to the powers that be would help. I don’t expect it will, but i would at least like them to admit they are processing the house for sale, that would be twice as much information as the nothing that i have now.

I know it all may be wasted effort, but that’s really all i can do on that front. So far this week I have worked on 4 different books for publication and processed only 3 orders. Throwing things against the wall is really my main activity.

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