unoccupied

2014-08-11 15.05.57 Well i’m not driving and I’m not asleep, which is essentially all i have been doing since I bought the house. I have had to drive back and forth to Portland everyday, in the truck that has really shitty gas mileage.    The previous owner finally moved out on Sunday, I brought a load of boxes on Monday. The guy from the pumbling company came by to remove the baseboard and stove, and helpfully gave me a tour of my heating system..including pointing out the flaws in the building. Like the water damage and mold on the second floor, which paled compared to the fact that there’s not a stich of insulation in the entire place. oh joy.

The oddjob guys i hired on Tuesday to remove all the rugs for me, agreed to pull down the paneling and cardboard on the second floor for a price…lets just call it by its proper name…the attic.   Here I was thinking I would be painting the kitchen by now…and as it is, I don’t have a place to sleep.

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I have been hemoraging money since I bought the place, I can’t drive by a Home Depot without dropping 100 dollars… you know they make teeny tiny shop vacs?… I am bribing the oddjob guys to empty the rental truck on Friday…in all i think i will have paid them nearly a thousand dollars by the end of the week. They agreed to empty it, if it didn’t contain any heavy furniture…since i have abandoned most of my furniture I intended to only fill it with boxes.  But for good measure, I moved my desk into the house, which i don’t consider a heavy item…and I took a mad dash to Ikea to collect the bed and three glass door billy bookcases..which are THE HEAVIEST DAMN THINGS i have ever bought. They may not get installed for months, but i won’t have to drive all over hell and creation looking for bookcases.

2014-08-13 12.15.38 It doesn’t look like the downstairs has any more insulation than the upstairs… I am actually toying with the idea of ripping these walls down too. In for a penny in for a pound. The Carpenter has turned out to be a passive agressive sort, he made a stab at installing the back door, but hasn’t actually done it yet. He won’t do the back porch without a building permit, which is understandable…but alas, the building permit process in Portland is way more complicated than I am used to, so it doesn’t look like i will be getting my magic porch any time soon…nor probably my deposit back. I am trying very hard not to fly into bits, weep and rend, i bought the son of a bitch, and it would have been way worse to buy an unoccupied house..in fact the only way i could have spent my money and NOT had it blow up in my face was to buy a trailer home or condo. Something boxy and modern in which to die a slow painfully boring death.

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Tomorrow I pick up the Pensky rental truck, and I have given myself a day to fill it..mostly with boxes. Now that the attic is empty – really empty, I will see if i can bribe the oddjob guys to fill it with my boxes. As long as they pile them in the middle I can scoot around them to install the insulation myself. The cats…well the cats will have to be caged until the porch becomes a reality..i have no idea when, since i have no fucking idea how to get the building permit submitted. I tried going to the actual office and it was like a joke, they just waived me off saying ‘it’s all online.’ if it’s all online…why do they have a bloody office?

I dropped more money on amazon, i ordered cages..tall cages… they are going to be wicked unhappy and be making a terrible mess, but at least they will be safe. I have rearranged every plan I have ever made…and tossed them all out… right now the only plan i can see, is to try to squeeze everything i own into two tiny dry rooms of a tiny house. I will most likely have a lot of things under blue tarps outside for quite some time. I am going to absolutely run out of money before its done. I feel like Mr Blandings when he gets locked in the closet of his house under construction and all he can do is bang a nail keg on the floor until someone finds him.

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