You don’t miss things, like AIR until you don’t have it. Of ALL the things to be allergic to in the universe, milk, peanuts, pollen, cat dander etc. I am allergic to …wait for it……DUST, yep, the very shit that covers my world. How’s that for biblio-irony?
It took me many years to realize who my arch enemy actually was, no I was never sent to an allergist as a child, see, I was just faking feeling like shite. And all the years I spent sitting in a cubicle breathing air recycled from decrepit ducts, I would hack, snort and honk my way into my neighbors soundtrack. I wanted to throttle every “gee, the pollen is bad this year” commenter. Nature and I get along great, I breathe fine OUTSIDE, it is only INSIDE where my eyes weep and my nasal drip goes postal.
When I narrowed down the list of culprits, I worked my way up the ranks of over the counter meds; landing of course with Claritin or rather the cheaper clones thereof that contain the all important, Loratadine. Even at a buck a pill they don’t make it easy. In order for the drug czar to bring meth labs to their knees, I have to cough up my ID in order to buy my weekly allotment of 15 pills. Usually I cut the crap and spend a buck and a half and get the all day doses, which stop working promptly at 3 am.
Anyway, I figured I’d share, since I am basically sitting while my eyes and nose weep, waiting for the pills to kick in. How did we function before the good drugs, was the world simply covered in mucus? did we all walk around honking like geese? or did we just curl up and die to be covered in layers of book dust?