whack a mole with strings attached

WhackAMole1The pain from the voices screaming  inside my head is only surpassed by the corkscew now playing the part of my back.   It basically started two days ago when HIMSELF and MRS HIMSELF sent paperwork through their lawyer to mine and mine sent it on to me without reading it, saying she would get back to me in the morning….the morning being like 14 hours away… Then instead of hearing from Lawyer #11 I got a call from HIMSELF, trying to bully me into signing said papers.   Said papers consisting of a brand new loan that concatonates the previous two along with a piece of paper i wont sign on my deathbed wherein i promise never to go after them for the money they owe me from the last 30 years.   Yeah right, like i suddenly got stupid.

Voice #1 is  rending and wailing and rocking back and forth in frustration, voice #2 is sitting cross legged making sharpened spears out of fence pickets and making war whoops.   The noise is deafening and i can’t concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes.  The Broker held my hand until the Lawyer finally got back to me today but i was still freaking out – three straight days of freaking out….my back cannot take this…..i AM NOT A PATIENT PERSON, i need to keep busy, i need to be DOING stuff, i need to be making lists and plans and moving forward with projects, sitting and spinning just wears out my gears,  this is why i suck at chess, i get waiting for my turn, but i really excell at whack a mole, where even if you miss you are keeping up your momentum.

Back to the PAPERS..Himself learned this dandy trick from my mother, which is to wait until the last minute or beyond and then present me with the problem as a done deal, and if I don’t go along with what you have already decided then the sky falls in and its all my fault.  TA DA…that’s really his only trick.  So after 4 months of fucking around, they present me with this loan agreements that if i don’t sign, the banky wanky can forclose on the house we have had for 40 years, and it will all be my fault..  Cheers you rat bastard mutherfucker and Mrs mutherfucker.

I went round and round with Lawyer #11 and agreed to sign if ONLY Himself would sign MY papers with the broker and list the house NOW. Not keep fucking around for months on end…. Himself wanted to have his own broker, so that’s 2% here and 2 % there and another 2% for the buyers broker…who says the real estate business is in trouble?….all completely wasteful, but what the fuck.  But they don’t want to list it NOW..they still want to fart around with it and see if they can squeeze out some more money out of it.

In the end, they have made me a buy out offer…..not a bad one, i’m not a stupid woman… its about what i was expecting to walk away with anyway, and getting it now means i can get out of dodge…if only for the anchor chain attached to it…i am certain they do not want me to have them audited for all the  money they have NOT shared with me for the last 10 years.   See not so stupid am I.   Well that’s never gonna happen, danger girl is as self destructive as ever,  no way can i just walk away from someone who has wronged me over and over and let it go.  I’m not built that way.  Right now i am waiting to hear what my broker thinks, but i have already made up my mind to ask for 30K more than they are offering, that’s a general estimate of the amount they have ripped me off.

I am not sure they will go for it, but Mr and Mrs pain ass need to know that i know they have been very naughty moles.  And i’ve got some fence pickets i’d like to introduce them to.


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