As a kneejerk reaction to all this window shopping I started surfing the craiglist antiques for sale.. mostly it’s ‘hate it’, ‘had it’, ‘sold it’, ‘don’t need it’, etc.. with very few ‘would buy it’s.’ which is another moment of self realization…there was a time when i would ALWAYS choose OLD to New, heavy solid hardwood, victorian pieces, over nearly anything else on the planet. Though in my heart I was really a Stickley Mission Style girl – but even 35 years ago when I started actively buying pieces, I still couldn’t afford anything that nice. At one time or another i have had nearly everything… Hitchcock dressers, glass curios, – i had this enormous vintage couch for the longest time, had it reupholstered and everything but i got rid of it before the cats did it in, stained glass, Cambridge crystal, Gov. Winthrop desks, Queen Anne, mahogany dining table, a pine hoosier, enamel steel kitchen table, and so on and so forth..there are a lot of ‘had it-sold it’.
But do i WANT ANY OF IT BACK? Not that i can think of. Sure NOW there’s stuff i wish i had squirreled away, but most of it i can’t imagine lifting and moving ever again. It was a little surprising to realize i have sort of crossed into the DOWNSIZING stage of life, without even realizing it. I guess I am older than i thought.
Even though i am going someplace i am hoping to have more living space, I don’t exactly WANT MORE STUFF. I am interested in furniture that actually DOES something. I am going to seriously MISS my glass cabinets. That’s where i keep anything i really care about….all my valuable books and just some sentimental ones. I will definitely be looking for more Lawyers cases, like this one…the OLD ones are slightly cheaper than the brand new ones. but it’s really not a question. I have one now… I need at least 2 more. their appeal is that they can be stacked. That will cost me a pretty penny IF I can find some in reasonable shape. But it may be worth the money if i can protect what little i have left. I will probably sell off more of my books, but that’s something I may do AFTER I move instead of before.
I’m having a sense of deja vu…for the last 4 days I have done nothing but work on book layouts with craigslist coffee breaks. The thought of moving is really the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. I try very hard to think in the NOW, and NOT keep creating fantasizes about how much better my life will be LATER. Have i really painted a new life someplace else as something it isn’t? will i just be bringing my crappy life with me, like bringing crappy furniture?
Why do i really only want to look at NEW furniture? Perhaps i have had my fill of furniture that had demands of its own. Why am i fixating on only SIMPLE designs? I am really really really leaning towards mission style and some of that parawood unadorned flatpack stuff. anything without decoration and design. No finials to break off, no drawers to fill with junk, no springs to stretch out and let go, no deeply carved reliefs that insist on being dusted and polished, no lions feet that get chipped off…no furniture i CARE about, nothing i can’t simply break into smaller pieces and put in a woodstove….hmmm..do i want a wood stove? I sure as hell know i don’t want a fireplace…i have HAD enough of those. Talk about something with its own demands!
With that said, why can’t i look at anything built after 1950? That is still a gap in my brain…i still can’t stand a modern house…and I loathe with a firey passion, condos, condexes, ranches, and so forth… I’m thinking of something in a large cape…and I can tell you right now – americans’ have grown too large, we haven’t built capes in many decades, we can’t fit our asses and our STUFF into a 5 or 6 room cape. Less is more, smaller is better….ugh…. trying to diet so i can fit my ass in my new house.